Hi everyone, hope I'm posting in the right place! Just after some thought and advice please.
I left my partner of 12 and half yrs about a year ago with our 2 children 10 and 11. He's a functioning alcoholic and the drink won over me and the kids.
My issue is at the moment, he has the kids every other weekend, rarely bothers inbetween. The condition was as long as he didn't drink when with the kids (he is known to go a couple of days without drinking at all, then makes up for it when he's thirsty, so I know he has the capability to abstain for at least 2 days.
I have suspected but can't prove that he drinks as usual when he has the children, they won't tell me because they feel sorry for him and they know the consequences of me knowing yet they adore him.
However, the last couple of months my son 10yrs has been returning from dad's very angry and tearful, he bottles up and has flippant outbursts instead of talking and when asked what's wrong he just tries to stop the tears.
They spent the whole week with dad 24th-30th for Xmas, he was spending time with family over the week and family took the children out and the rest of the days they stayed at home. My son said Xmas eve dad had a couple of glasses of red wine and it didn't do him well, so I said you mean he was drunk, he agreed and I didn't know what to say, it was left. My daughter has told me today that grandad dropped them home friday night and asked dad if he been drinking to which he admitted. My daughter then says she can't remember what happened then just that he dropped them and left. Father in law knows his son has drink problem.
My son is more angrier than previously and very tearful. He hasn't said what's caused it yet, im speaking to school Monday when they return to see if they can help him, school are aware.
So now my issue is what to do. He has a new girlfriend (who I know lol) and she's a drinker and then some which I know he'll indulge if on offer. So he's been drinking a lot more the last couple of weeks being out with her (people love to show you Facebook huh lol)
I have every right to stop contact over this right? Do I need to prove it before I do? Should I get legal advice? I've decided the best course is to stop unsupervised contact and he'll have to be with dad or sister but how do I enforce and garuntee it? I'm so stressed, my kids hate me when they come home for a day or so because they get away with EVERYTHING and have free roam, im big bad mum that limits ps4 or makes them tidy up etc they're gonna hate me even more but I'm so concerned.
Anything is appreciated, thanks for reading.