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Parenting

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Original poster

Nice stealing chocolates

15 replies

MariaTe · 31/12/2018 06:42

Hello,
I'm visiting my sister, who has an 11 year old girl. Some days ago I went travelling and left in my bedroom some chocolates that I got at Christmas. This afternoon my 4 yo daughter asked for something sweet so I went up to find the chocolates and they were gone. I asked my sister and she said we'd have to ask her daughter and she just dismissed the subject. That completely ruined my mood. I couldn't stand that she didn't even ask her daughter right then. I thought that maybe my sister had taken them. I then decided to ask my niece directly but she denied it. By then I was furious and everybody noticed it. My sister then decided to ask her, I heard my niece crying and then they left together and came back with other chocolates to replace those that disappeared, even though my sister says she believes her daughter and was extremely offended cause I only accused her daughter when we were 11 in the house. I said only them two and my mother were in the house when the chocolates disappeared and I had already asked my mother.
After the party was ruined I spoke with my sister. She was mad at me, but we managed to iron things out. I explained I don't care about the chocolates, but about someone taking something out of my room. She said she doesn't rule out it was her daughter, but she knows she'll never admit it.
I promised I would talk to her tomorrow, to tell her I love her and I believe her, even though I don't, but honestly I don't know what to tell her. Please help!
Sorry about the rambling.
Maria

OP posts:

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FortunesFave · 31/12/2018 06:46

Did you not think your own DD could have taken them?

Original poster

MariaTe · 31/12/2018 06:57

I did ask my 8 yo. My 4 yo is too short to reach that high and I'm pretty sure she didn't even know what the box contained. Plus as I said, I think it happened while we were away.

OP posts:

marcopront · 31/12/2018 07:21

If you only think it happened while you were travelling then why are you so sure it was your niece?
Also your Mum denied taking them and you believe her, why do you not believe your niece?

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Original poster

MariaTe · 31/12/2018 07:26

Because there were only my mum, my sister and my niece at the house while we left. I find it easier to believe that neither my sister or my mum did it. Why would they? They are both grown ups. They can buy chocolates and even if they had taken them, they would have admitted it.

OP posts:

Bibijayne · 31/12/2018 10:07

I think you're right OP. Could your niece be a little embarrassed maybe? Eleven is a weird age. Not quite teen, but you want to believe you're not just a kid. It's also the age lots of kids start unhealthy relationships with food (I had bulimia at that age). Is something going on with your neiece maybe? Totally understand the sneaking and the lying being a concern.

Starlight456 · 31/12/2018 10:10

Tbh I would of just left it.

Seems to be a lot of fuss over nothing

AfterSchoolWorry · 31/12/2018 10:16

Chocolates? Seriously?

You're causing this kind of fuss about chocolates?

Chocolate is littering the floors of every home, you can't give the stuff away. Cop on to yourself! Interrogating kids?

LoniceraJaponica · 31/12/2018 10:20

I think the OP is talking about the principle of it rather than the fact that it was chocolate.

Doyoumind · 31/12/2018 10:24

I don't think an 11 year old should be allowed to get away with taking something that wasn't theirs. I think you should put the evidence to her and tell her it seems likely it was her.amd you forgive her but want her to know what she did was wrong and she mustn't do something like that again.

BifsWif · 31/12/2018 10:24

Only on MN would you get these replies.

Yes, it was most likely your neice. As you’ve already said, it’s not about the chocolates it’s about someone going in to your room, taking something and lying about it.

I wouldn’t tell your neice you believe her if you don’t. Lying and stealing isn’t ok at any age regardless of the item.

TinyBearCub · 31/12/2018 11:09

Well, she did do it didn't she? I'd have thought that was quite clearly the case from the way her mum took her off and she cried.
I'd be tempted to leave it now as she's not your kid, but certainly wouldn't be telling my niece I believed her!

ShovingLeopard · 31/12/2018 11:12

It's an awkward situation, but I think you would be doing your niece no favours in the long run by telling her you believe her.

Escolar · 31/12/2018 11:17

Personally I think you should drop it. It's up to your sister how she deals with it. You may not agree with her parenting methods, but I don't think you should interfere.

Frogletmamma · 31/12/2018 11:18

About that age I swiped a mininature of banana liquor at an uncle's house
Eventually I confessed to my 20 yo cousin. It's not that big a deal. I haven't gone on to a life.of crime.

beanaseireann · 31/12/2018 14:35

I wouldn't tell your niece you believe her if you don't.
Actions have consequences. Hopefully she's learned her lesson.
Personally as a Mum I'd prefer the truth and wouldn't let a few tears get in the way of that.
But I wouldn't punish her, just explain that taking something not belonging to you is wrong and how would she feel if it was done to her.
She's an 11 year old child fgs, I'm sure those sweets were calling out to her.
They'd be calling out to me and I'm far from 11
It was nice if your sister to replace them. I hope you share them.

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