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I can’t cope with the tantrums anymore!

5 replies

Popsicales · 30/12/2018 18:29

My DS is 20 months, he has always been a bit of a difficult baby but I persevered. He has been having tantrums since about 12 months but it’s got to the point he is doing it continuously all day. He tantrums if we close a stair gate, move him to a new room, try and dress him even when we look at him sometimes. He throws himself back, bangs his head on the floor and walls. He bites, hits and head buts. He basically screams all day, it’s the way he communicates Sad

He says mum and dad, but not in context. He does all this at nursery and they’ve referred him to a nursery outreach worker although I’m not sure on what’s going on with that, as nursery is closed for Christmas.

He is a good walker (but not in the direction I want him to!) and he loves to climb. He has no sense of danger at all. He’s quite sociable and smiles and giggles at strangers. He is very very cute!

I’m just wondering... how do you cope with these tantrums?! When will it stop? What can I do to make it better? Is it normal?

Sorry for the long ranting post, I’m just at the end of my tether!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ollhe · 30/12/2018 18:35

It’s a normal stage of development. Toddlers have no control of the world around them, and it’s so hard when they can’t communicate.
Try to empathise with them, rub their back, offer a cuddle when they are ready.

I really recommend the book Toddler Calm. Helped me understand my toddler so much more.
I found it much easier once they were speaking more too.

Damnpeskykids · 30/12/2018 18:42

No help unfortunately, but I'm in the same position with ds2 he's 18 months, youngest of 3, says a few words but makes a lot of noises (that we understand but no one else would!) he's a smacker too, could rival a footballer player for his dramatics when he doesn't get his own way!
I never had this with the other two I know children all develop at different rates but will be watching for any tips I can use too! But you're not alone! WineCakeThanks

Damnpeskykids · 30/12/2018 18:43

Oh and he's also a massive flirt, loves people and attention too! Blush

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Popsicales · 30/12/2018 20:12

Yes! My DS is a flirt, I think they have to be to get away with the tantrums and for us to ‘forgive’ them so to speak!

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WhenLifeGivesYouLemonsx · 31/12/2018 07:26

Toddlers will tantrum at the silliest things. My DS2 tantrums if he can't get something out of his toy box, if I close the door behind me after going toilet(?), or even if I am cooking dinner he will randomly throw a tantrum because I'm taking too long lol! He headbutts the floor as well if he is annoyed or agitated. He soon learns that doing it will only result in a sore head and a bump lol. All part of growing up.. and a pain in the arse it is too but it will pass!

As for the biting and hitting... people may disagree but I always do time-out. If he bites or hits, I gently tell him to not do it because it is not a nice thing to do.. then if he does it again, he goes onto the naughty step in the hallway. He cries for 5 mins, then I get him and he says "sorry mummy" and gives me a cuddle. Touch wood he hasn't done it for a long time now but it is time to show some form of discipline!

It doesn't necessarily mean you've got to smack them but just showing and telling them what's nice/not a nice thing to do is a good start.

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