Explaining childbirth to 6 year old, help!

[MummyMaria86]

Hi, hope you lovely people can help me out, first post on here :)

I am 17 weeks pregnant with baby number 2, we have a daughter who has just turned 6, needless to say she is very excited about the prospect of becoming a big sister.

She is very inquisitive and obviously asking lots of questions about how babies get in tummies, etc! We have managed to keep it brief so far and she seems content with that.

My worry is after the birth, trying to hide my discomfort down below from her, especially as she is under the impression that all babies just magically pop out of their mummy's tummies! I had a traumatic natural delivery with my daughter, resulting in an episiotomy and piles in the early days after labour, and am so worried this will happen again :( But this time I am so anxious anticipating recovery will be much harder with a 6.5 year old watching my every move and questioning everything I do!

With such a big age gap between the two I need help on having "the talk" with her about how babies come out naturally. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

Maria x

Just be honest. It’s easier that way.

“Babies come out of a flexible tube called my vagina”.

My dd loved talking about it at ages 5-6. She had loads of questions and I answered. This included whether it hurt (I said yes but not the whole time and I had a bad tear etc; I don’t want to scare her!), how the baby got there (we talked about Sex in very very high level terms).

It was embarrassing for me but she took it in her stride and is now well informed.

Just be truthful. As you are asking I am assuming you don't use explicit vocabulary with her. We were always very matter of fact and straightforward with ours. I'd say something like "babies are born from the mummy's front bottom and it's very hard work to push them out or sometimes they are born from the mummy's tummy and the Dr has to cut it open to help the baby out. Having babies is very hard work and mummies have to rest afterwards and so I am lucky to have a clever girl like you to help look after me and the baby".

Second babies are often much easier op. Good luck.

What part of it are you worried about? Babies come out your front bottom/vulva/winky pinky woo woo (take your pick). Because the baby is quite big it sometimes gets all ripped up and there is a lot of blood and it hurts. All this will come to you dd, sometime soon

We are very upfront, in an age appropriate way.

There's a place in my tummy, called a uterus, that is where babies can grow. They can come out two ways - vagina or with help from doctors through a small cut in my tummy. I had 2 caesareans, so I get asked about my scar every so often, so we have this conversation often.

MIne watched Portland babies slightly obsessively, so knew everything. Just a simple truth. Baby is growing inside mummies tummy in a special place called a uterus, to keep it safe. When it’s grown enough to be born mummy’s tummy muscles starts squeezing it out. Normally it comes from a special, very stretchy hole between her legs called a vagina. Sometimes if the mother is very tired or baby gets too tired the doctors have to help the baby come out by doing a simple operation.

Get how your body works, where Willy went, there's a house inside my mummy, let's talk. Sorted.

I wish people didn’t use the phrase front bottom with girls. 🙈

Waste does not come out of it! It performs a very different biological function.

It will always be a "Foo Foo" to my daughter! Thanks for advice so far, I know I will have to bite the bullet at some stage!

Maria x

I talked to my boys about men having two holes and women having 3 holes down there, one extra for baby

Made it more matter of fact and eAsier

I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant with baby number 3 and both my children are very interested in how baby got in there and how it's coming out, they are 4+6, I've told them the truth about how they are made and how they normally come out although this baby will be a section baby again. It's made for some interesting conversation topics from the 4 year old at preschool and at any cafe as she likes to announce it to everyone and tell everyone how it got there !

Explain factually and using the correct words - the baby comes out of the vagina, between the mummy’s legs. Explain that it can leave you a bit sore afterwards. Sorted. It doesn’t need to be a big deal unless you make it one, it’s just part of how our bodies work.

i try to be honest with my kids, so told my eldest 'babies come out of vaginas' when she asked at newly 4. No more was said for a few months until she told the check out assistant in Waitrose (Waitrose of all places 😩) randomly as we paid one day..."Did you know, babies come out of vaginas!" Check out assistant was so cool about it.

I think 6 is more than old enough to use the correct body part names.

I’m 40 weeks with number 3 and my older DC are 5 and 3. I’ve told them the truth! No point telling them a version now then having to change that version in a few years time.
We’ve got the ‘where willy went’ book too.

My oldest was just 7 when my youngest was born.
He already knew women have vulvas and a wee hole, so I explained there's also a baby hole/vagina for the baby to come out of and that it starts small but stretches so it's big enough for the baby's head.

Using words like foo foo and lying about the normal, natural, beautiful, messy, painful life event that is childbirth is setting her up to think her body is rude/shameful/can't be discussed. 6 is the perfect age to tell all with zero embarrassment to them. My eldest watched her sibling be born at home at 6. I prepared her with positive birth videos and the picture book 'Hello Baby' and others.

I'm assuming that you know how babies are birthed, as you are on your 2nd? Therefore...tell her.

Bizarre to me when people make up cutesy stories or stupid words for body parts.

A special tube that gets bigger to let baby come out.

If she might see you in labour, tell her that it's really hard work and that the sounds you make are because of the effort your body is putting in.

She has known it to be her "Foo foo" since she could talk. I have never needed a reason to call it a vagina until now, nor would I have chosen to!

Thank you to those who have given helpful advice!

My oldest asked this when I was pregnant with her younger sibling and she was almost 5 and I stuck to honest facts in a way that she could understand. When I explained that she hadn’t misheard that yes the baby would be pushed out through the vagina her mouth dropped and she said “woah” she dealt with it all just fine.

I think just talk about it and perhaps when she’s ready show her some videos of births. And let her ask you questions.

My dd was 5 when her brother was born, but we’d talked about birth and she’d been watching birth videos on YouTube since she was probably 2-3. I had a home birth with her and also with her brother and she was there, so was important that she understood what to expect. Unless she’s actually going to be present, I don’t think you have to go into tremendous detail unless she asks. I was very careful to explain about the noise and the blood she’d see and the placenta because I didn’t want to scare her if she wasn’t expecting it. But it was really a non event. They have no preconceptions so it’s not a scary thing to them.

Mine came upstairs, looked at me and her brother in the middle of the bedroom floor, remarked that I’d gotten blood on my leg and went downstairs again. Then she understood that the first few weeks I’d need to rest lots and feed her brother and she’d have to be extra patient. No need to explain about stitches or soreness. She watched me give myself clexane injections every day and was genuinely interested. Nothing more too it.

Mostly though, I’d be led by her questions and give her honest answers. Mine knows it hurts, but I explained why and she wasn’t that phased, even sitting downstairs listening in. So I think you’ll be surprised it’s an easier topic for her to understand that you think it will be.

*That said, after my initial explanation of birth when she was 2, she proceeded to announce very loudly to my dh’s entire extended family over Christmas lunch that year that “I came out of mummy’s vagina!”

I’m overdue with number 3 and DD1 (5) just said to me ‘I hope the baby comes out soon so you’re not so tired and fed up mummy, but also I know it will hurt so maybe best it stays in’

Read "there's a house inside my mummy" to start with. Love that book