Failing somewhere

[dippyeggsandsoldiers]

I've obviously failed massively somewhere along the line. My daughter will be 10 months old in a few days. She will not go to sleep before midnight, I've tried almost everything, bath, bottle, story, massage etc at around 7/8pm, she goes to sleep for about an hour or 2, then wakes up wide awake. I've tried feeding her, but she refuses the feed so I assume she's not hungry. It's almost like she sees it as a nap, if that makes sense. Sometimes she'll be awake until midnight. I'm at my wits end because I feel like I've tried everything! When she wakes up she won't settle again and sometimes I resort to co sleeping, because by this point I'm absolutely shattered and I'll do anything for some sleep. I'm back at work now so I need the sleep I can get.

My question is, how on earth do I get her to sleep? What routines do you have? Or just any advice at all?

Are you putting her to bed in her own room in the dark? And when she wakes up are you interacting with her? Putting lights on etc?

I know it's frowned on, but sometimes co-sleeping's the only way. They like the closeness, the warmth and the smell of milk

Following because exactly the same here almost to the letter! No idea, I’m exhausted too.

When she goes to sleep at midnight what time does she wake up? Also what times does she nap in the day?

Her bodyclock may be skewiff and need 'winding back'. I found 15 minute changes every few days worked when we moved country and dd was two hours ahead.

@FortunesFave yeah I keep the lights off and minimum interaction, i 'shh' her but that's about it!

@Coolaschmoola she sleeps through til about 8/9 sometimes even 10am. Which would be the fine if I could have a lie in the following morning, but I can't because of work.

I've tried waking her up earlier and scheduling her naps but nothing seems to work!

Yes to cosleeping. I would ensure the room is childproof and removed most stuff except for mattress and then I would go to sleep. For a long time DD’s sleep cue was me being asleep.

I found the only way to wind dd back was fractionally. So I moved everything forward ten or fifteen minutes. I didn't wake her in the mornings but I started banging about. I brought each feed/meal forward, moved the bath forward, bed forward etc - but only a tiny bit. After a few days of the new timings dd got used to it. I gave it a couple more days to embed, then repeated the process. I kept doing it until I'd got her to a more 'normal' bedtime.

It took a fair amount of time but it was worth it!

Try and shift her whole meals and naps forward by 10 mins every 5 days or so.

When you put her down in the evening wake after 40 mins. Or can you try putting her to bed later?

I would certainly start getting her up at 7am. May be horrid for a few weeks but if you want her to sleep in the evenings it means her whole sleep pattern needs to shift.

Mine are 8 months and 2 years and still shit so you're not failing! What's her rough feeding/sleeping pattern each day? Is she at nursery in the day?

We cosleep with both children because I'm lazy and can't be arsed going back and for between beds. I put her down in mine at 6ish then go up at 9/10 on her first waking to feed her back to sleep, then she sleeps in my bed all night.