Getting ready to solo parent while DH works abroad, tips needed!!!!!

[Yobo]

Hi All, my DH has a new job which will mean big chunks of time spent working abroad. I have DD (6) & DS (1.5) and work 3 days per week. They are in childcare where I need to provide their meals. Looking for practical tips to run house, cook meals while he is gone please! Have thought of buying bags of chopped veg etc and giving DD some chores to help out. Also would love tips on helping her cope. He worked abroad when she was younger & she missed him terribly

What about hiring a nanny? Even for one day a week to help you tidy the house and do laundry. That would take a load of stress of you. My mom was a nanny and she went to a family once a week to do their laundry, and do a deep clean. I think that would help a lot. Also plan out the meals for the week and write them down on a planner so you know exactly what to buy for food etc. Tell your husband face time everyday at a specific time so hot kids have a routine with him atleast. Hope that helped a little

Online shopping.
Cleaner/ironer.
Anyway the childcare can provide food.
Slower cooker
On none work days make double the amount of food so you can freeze half/have it the next day.

I am 2 months in to this. I am learning to cope. Here are my tips:
A weekly rotation of (easy) meals works really well (baked potatoes on Monday, pasta Tuesday etc).
Make school lunches the evening before.
Wash clothes every evening. It never builds up that way.
Get up at least half an hour before you wake the children up.
Get a babysitter and go out with your friends sometimes - or it will seem like endless drudgery.
My 3 children have their own ways of keeping in touch with their father - I bought my 8 year old a phone so she can text him. Skype has been good too. We tried a regular time for contact but it was too restrictive, now they just talk to each other whenever.

My husband used to work abroad a lot when the children were quite little. Get a food processor if you haven't got one already - chopped veg takes seconds, uses less packaging and is much more fresh. Use the slow cooker, it can be bubbling away while you are elsewhere. If necessary go to Cook and fill up the freezer. The main thing is keeping sane and not too frazzled - take whatever shortcuts work for you without feeling guilty about it. It's not forever, so you can wing whatever you can wing and you won't come to grief over it.

Thanks everyone these are good tips, yes hoping to find a good cleaner so I can focus on meal prep and being with kids. Think we will find our groove if I just let a dew things slide at the start! But I am a perfectionist! And DS is an awful sleeper so evenings can be tiring before I even get downstairs!!!

As a military wife for many years, I can say that you will cope. You have the added benefit (I assume) that you’re DH isn’t in a war zone and in a life threatening position daily for 9 months. I don’t mean that to sound harsh but i’m trying to say you will be fine and as a mum to two, you will become a really strong person.

For the kids and their dad, we found that letter writing (dot to dots drawn by my DH/ bunting he drew that we could peg up in the playroom/funny jokes he would send back) and recorded bedtime stories really helped the kids to have something to look forward to. We had email and phone etc but having something to see in their hand somehow meant more than the odd weekly phonecall.

Without any extended family nearby and being in the middle of nowhere, I had to make sure I organised something to go and do on each weekend day....even it was a trip to Tesco or the hair salon, to make sure we left the house.

Rather than a nanny, could you get an au pair? That way, they’ll be living with you and there when you need them. Many do weekend/night babysitting for extra pay, giving you time for yourself too.

Running the house will work itself out too. You’ll quickly find shortcuts.

-Have laundry bins for each person. Wash and dry each bin separately. That saves on time sorting through mixed up washing.
-from spring onwards, find a local teen who will cut your grass every weekend.
-On 1 or 2 of your work days, have a cold, buffet style tea. As long as you’re giving the kids the required nutrients, you don’t have to have slaved over a hot dinner.
-If you can afford it, take the kids out for tea once a week.
-Don’t feel like you need to bath them every single day.
-If you have in laws/parents who can take the kids for a weekend, let them crack on. Then you can do a mix of relaxing and deep cleaning.

Try not to worry. Do you know hw long your DH will be working away for at a time?

@Verbena37 Thanks for your post, great to here it from someone who does it! Will be taking those tips on board, especially the buffet style tea, that will save on the washing up too. Trying to do as much as I can without going over budget, but if needs must I will do the odd tea out with them. Thankfully DH is very hands on as a parent, but that does make it hard knowing I won't have his help! He will be away for 2 months at a time, so I know we will get the routine down, I need to focus on this I think to stay positive, I have relatively fragile MH after birth of DS. I wonder if this might be a chance to have some time with myself though, and a positive might come out of it in terms of me and my MH if approached the right way
DS is in tantrum season at the moment, and I find the days long and tiring. DH puts him to bed most nights so am dreading not having that help!