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Parenting

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Original poster

An old favourite! a 15 year old on his own overnight?

28 replies

PatPhoenix · 27/12/2018 17:38

Just wondered what others thought about this - ds will just have turned 15 in late January, I'm thinking of going away overnight, would you leave him? He is an extremely self-contained and sensible child, he will have cats and the entire internet for company [erm...] but I'm just not quite sure. Ultimately it's probably up to him I guess. There are other options such as friends' houses who are happy to have him.

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Notquiterichenough · 27/12/2018 17:40

I have a 15 year old, and wouldn't. NSPCC advice is 16 years to be left overnight.

GummyGoddess · 27/12/2018 17:41

I would if he's sensible. I was left at night with a baby at 15 when my mum went out, I know that isn't normal but using it as an example of how capable teenagers can be.

Perhaps tell him if he does well then you will consider doing it more often so he has an incentive to behave?

Original poster

PatPhoenix · 27/12/2018 17:43

I must say 16 sits better with me. Perhaps even 15 and a half...

I don't really see it as an incentive/reward situation tbh. The fact that I'm buggering off on a jolly to a spa city with a mate doesn't suit itself to moral guidance . Also he could do really well from a responsibility point of view but things could still go wrong - it would still be my responsibility. Hmm.

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GummyGoddess · 27/12/2018 17:48

Realistically, what is going to go wrong? Set up an ubereats account or similar so he can have takeaway and not need the oven and call him to make sure he's locked the doors.

Is there anyone close that he can call if he needs a hand?

EmpressAdultHumanFemale · 27/12/2018 17:50

I'd have killed for a night in the house by myself when I was 15. As Gummy said, maybe get a neighbour or friend's parent to be available for emergencies?

ChanklyBore · 27/12/2018 17:52

I absolutely would if the 15 yo was fine with it. I was alone for full weeks at 16 and moved out to live alone at 17.

Nicknamesalltaken · 27/12/2018 17:53

I wouldn’t. My 15 yo is pretty sensible, but I think he could still get worried.

redyawn · 27/12/2018 19:14

I have a 14yo and 16yo. The 16yo is very very sensible but the 14yo is a bit of an anxious type and would definitely be scared with no adults overnight. I even think it's possible the 16yo would be scared too. For this reason I got a babysitter when I went away overnight recently. I leave them alone all day occasionally and they are ok with that.

mindutopia · 28/12/2018 09:56

I stayed on my own from probably 13/14 for days at a time. If he’s mature and sensible, it sounds fine.

GobblersKnob · 28/12/2018 10:00

I think it's impossible to say as it depends so much on the child. I was left alone all night at that age as I used to babysit all night. But my ds who TBF is only 14.5 who absolutely hate it, and I can't see him being ready anytime soon.

calpop · 28/12/2018 10:00

My 14y old wpuld be absolutely fine with this, in fact would quite enjoy it. He wpuld be glued to the playstation or tv all.night and would.barely notive he was alone. We would keep in touch via phoe, whatsapp and skype so I think its fine, as long as the child.is comfortable with it. Id also make my neighbour awarr so he could go there if any issue, if yiu habe a friendly neighbour? He also wouldn't be allowed to answer the door.

LuluBellaBlue · 28/12/2018 10:01

I did loads of (mumsnet) research into this earlier this year, basically if your child is up for it then I’d say go for it. My son is 15 and loves it!

Cachailleacha · 28/12/2018 10:09

Yes, I would, probably from 14. At 16 a young person can leave home if they want to, so waiting until then seems absurd.

TheFirstOHN · 28/12/2018 10:18

We're planning a night away soon. We'll be leaving a nearly 17 year old (with Asperger's) and twins who will be 14.5. We'll be 100 miles away, so we've booked a babysitter to stay overnight, just so there's an adult in the house.

CitrusFruit9 · 28/12/2018 11:07

If your DS is fine with it then yes as long as you have nearby friends or neighbours in case of eg a power cut. I think it depends on the personality of the child rather than the age, but I'd regard 15 as certainly mature enough in most cases.

halcyondays · 28/12/2018 11:08

I wouldn't leave a 15 year old.

FissionChips · 28/12/2018 11:17

I’d be worried if I’d raised a (NT) child who couldn’t be left alone overnight at 15.

Charley50 · 28/12/2018 11:21

My son is 15 and very sensible. Has stayed on his own a couple of times. He likes it, as long as there is food and he has a 'back-up' adult he can call.

OccasionallyIncomplet · 28/12/2018 11:26

15 and my parents were away overnight? That would always equal - party!

NotCitrus · 28/12/2018 11:32

I think it's OK if the teenager is OK with it and it's not very often. Especially if there's someone they could contact by phone or in person if there's a problem.

Molakai · 28/12/2018 11:37

I’d be worried if I’d raised a (NT) child who couldn’t be left alone overnight at 15

What a stupid thing to say. Or stupid benchmark for successful parenting.

Raising independent young people is a valid goal - but setting a random age for being alone overnight is nonsensical.

FissionChips · 28/12/2018 11:46

Or stupid benchmark for successful parenting

No, stupid is raising a child to the age of 15 who cannot even manage a night alone. 15 is only 3 years away from being an adult, being allowed to marry, drink alcohol.

It’s assured that a teenager that age can’t cope for a night, it really is.

FissionChips · 28/12/2018 11:46

Absurd*^

GobblersKnob · 28/12/2018 11:59

*Adds 'child unable to be left alone overnight' to list of perceived parenting fails.

*Hunts around for a fuck to give.....

WWlOOlWW · 28/12/2018 12:15

My 16 DS still doesn't like the idea of being alone over night. He's happy for me to be out till 3am .. but really doesn't like the idea of waking up without me here, which is pretty rediculious as I'm out at 6am for work! I'd have been perfectly happy for him to have a night lone from the age of 15.

In your situation id arrange to stay somewhere close by before your trip to the spa and then you can see how he/you feels about it.

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