My 9 year old

[EmmieKit]

Hello mums! I'm new here. My sister said I should join and see what advice you may have for me! I have a 9 year old girl who currently is being rude and disrespectful. We are very close, and she can be totally adorable and I love her with all my heart. She has 2 older siblings, she behaves well at school, and when she stays with her dad, but with me she doesn't listen to what she's told, and answers back and is rude. At the moment her current punishments are taking her iPod away, sending her to her room, or to bed early. None of which she is bothered about. I was wondering if anyone has any wonderful tips, that I haven't yet thought of, or tried yet, and I have tried a lot. I know it seems to be a kid thing, and a lot of you are in the same boat, but I need to get her into shape before she becomes a rude teen!
I thank you in advance 😊

Have you spoken to her calmly about it?

What are you doing differently to her dad and school?

I have talked to her calmly, on many occasions. I don't believe I am doing anything different, she just seems to be comfortable enough with me to behave like this.

I don't have any great tips but wanted to give some sympathy. My DD(9) is much the same at the moment and, from talking to some school mums, it seems we aren't the only ones. I think there are possibly hormones kicking in but a lot of it is trying to be more grown up than she is. Sometimes she is trying to be funny/sarcastic but it comes off as rude, sometimes she says we treat her like a baby and she fights to be treated like at adult (at nine!) and sometimes she gets herself into an argument with us and I can see that she just doesn't know how to back down so carries on and gets more and more angry and rude. I'm also trying to be consistent with punishments, make it clear that we love her but don't like the behaviour and give her loads of attention when she is being lovely which is still most of the time. We've talked about walking away or taking time to calm down but she is still struggling to do it. She is also well behaved at school or with my parents - my DM assures me I get the worst of it because she feels safe with me and knows I love her regardless. Not sure that's true but it makes me feel better so I'm choosing to believe it.

Good luck and I hope she settles down soon.

Have a look at gentle parenting websites. Aha parenting is one and peaceful parent is another. The current system of punishment isn't working so you might get better results trying another approach.

What kind of things does she do to merit punishment?

www.peacefulparent.com/about-peaceful-parent-institute/

www.ahaparenting.com

I think you may have hit the nail on the head with saying she's comfortable enough with you - she obviously feels you love her enough to express whatever she feels...

Thank you for that. And yes, Tailrunner, your post sounds just so familiar.its good to know I'm not in the same boat. I do already know this,