Help!! 6.5 year old still has a dummy!!!

[Dangermouse559]

I'm in desperate need of advice here, DD1 is 6.5 and still LOVES her dummies! About 6 months ago, just before her 6th birthday she traded her dummies in exchange for a toy (completely her idea,) no fuss, no tears, she seemed happy. She mostly had a dummy at night, just to go to sleep, and only outside of the bedroom if she was very ill or upset. She hardly even asked for the dummy after giving it away, however we had since noticed that she had started sucking her thumb. She would spend large portions of time sucking her thumb, more that she ever had a dummy. We thought that it was just a phase that would pass, a side affect of ditching the dummy. Until a couple of months ago when we visited the dentist, who had a previous advised us to get rid of the dummy, (although her teeth were visibly fine, she was worried that her big teeth might come in squint,). The dentist asked us about the dummy, and we told her that it was gone, to her surprise DD's teeth had gotten quite a lot worse. Once we realised that thumb sucking was the problem, OH and I decided that it needed to stop. We used foul tasting nail polish on DD's fingers. The next couple of days were hell particularly at night. After 5 nights of almost no sleep we were ready to give in, but as if by magic she fell asleep with minimal tears. We thought that we'd cracked it. Until we had realised that she had stolen one of her almost 3 year old sister's dummies. We were already at breaking point, so me and the husband decided to buy her some new dummies to help her fall asleep, (as soon as she's asleep we sneak in and remove it.)

This was short lived as she started using the dummy at every possible opportunity, when ever she would suck her thumb. We have tried to stop it, but to no avail.

OH and I decided enough was enough. We got DD1 and DD2 to got around the house and collect all the dummies, (which I counted to be almost 30!) And then leave them for santa to take. This was almost a week ago now. Since then they have been a nightmare. Two normally well behaved girls have became uncontrollable. I hated seeing them as upset as they have been, and I'm worn down by their behaviour, but I was committed to the cold turkey. However on night 3 OH snapped and went out and bought new dummies. This annoyed me, but I know that if it continued I would have done the same.

If anyone has any advice please help me out, this has made me feel like a useless mother.
Thanks

The dummies need to go for good they are both far to old for them. Christmas is always a difficult time for kids with the over excitement but there is nothing that you can do about choosing to do it now. You just need to ride it out and make sure you and DH are in agreement of no more dummies.

Do not underestimate how much of a comfort a dummy is to a child. When you remove it they have to relearn how to soothe themselves again. And they will need extra help and perhaps a new special cuddle toy.

I would give into the 3yr old for now, and make a "big girl" chart for your daughter. Each night without a dummy, or sucking her thumb, she gets a tick/star/sticker and after however many days/weeks she gets a small reward. BUT you have to find ways to help her soothe herself to sleep at night. Music, a new special teddy, etc. LOTS of praise each time she does it. It will be tough, but you have to be strong.

Then, when you have cracked her, start on your dd2. It will be impossible to do both at once, as unless your dh is on side and they allow it, you won't be able to help them soothe (unless they share a room).

Maybe dd2 will she her sister's chart and feel like joining in.

Also, only have a couple of dummies for dd2 and make sure you know where they are so your older dd can't nab them.

you can get a fabric thumb guard/cover to go over her thumb that will stop her sucking it.

Both kids are way too old for dummies.
Get rid of both

My cousin used to suck her fingers, you wouldn't believe the mess she made of her teeth. She had to have them all crowned. You just need to be tough

differentnameforthis
Thanks for the comment, the only reason that I want to stop DD2 using dummies is so as DD1 can't take hers.
I like the sticker chart idea, not sure if she'll go for it, but it's worth a try. Self soothing has always been an issue for her, hence why she had the dummy so long, she never wanted a teddy or blanket, only ever the dummy.
DH is thankfully onside, he just can't stand to see them so upset, I am the same in that way.

Thanks for the comment, the only reason that I want to stop DD2 using dummies is so as DD1 can't take hers. I thought that might be the case, in which case your dh can help tackle both at once.

My daughter stopped thumb sucking at about the age of 7. Sounds mad but we made a character out of a sock (decorated it with eyes etc) which she wore on her hand. Totally did the trick.

Thumb sucking is difficult to prevent especially that no one will criticize or take an action to stop him/her doing it as early as possible.

I think the dummies definitely need to go if they are affecting their teeth.
You could try putting some of that nail polish on the dummies, say that they taste bad and are no good anymore.

Failing that, I've heard that you can cut the ends off the dummies, making them not be as nice to suck. Then kids sometimes don't want them anymore. No idea how to deal with thumb suck though.

You just need to be strong.

I'm in no place to give advice as my 3.5 year old still has a dummy at night... however, I also have a one year old and when he's been teething he chews the dummy and sometimes will pierce the 'sucky bit' (mind's a blank on what it's actually called!). The dummy doesn't 'work' after that and he won't use them. So, could you pierce the bit with a pin maybe? To make it not work for DD?

If you want to stop dummies put a tiny pin prick hole in the rubber - it will make the dummy not as good to them (if you want to lie tell them it is their grown up teeth that have changed the way it sucks)

Agree with the sock you can fasten them to pj with safety pins (the safe ones that babies have for "old fashioned" nappy)