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Never had a relationship with my father and feel it at Christmas 😪

1 reply

JKCR2017 · 22/12/2018 19:00

I am 26, never had anything to do with my dad. He met a few times when I was tiny but nothing since then. He only lived 14 miles from where I grew up, now I live even closer to where he lives (assume he still lives there). Sometimes I try and kid myself and tell myself I don’t care, but I do. I feel at more at Christmas. I mean he’s not been around 26 Christmasses.

I have two D.C. myself and my OH is a doting dad as is my ex (father to DS) and I really fail to understand how anyone can have little contact with their children.

My biological dad has 5 possible 6 other children. He lives with 3 if them and is apparently a doting dad to them so why not me?

My mums never really spoken much about it. My mum and him were engaged and I know he had a string of one night stands with another woman and got her pregnant. Awkward 🤷‍♀️ My mum was young (19) and heartbroken which I understand. She has always implied that he never bothered but something my dear Granny said a few years ago made me think.. she said he desperately wanted to see me but my mum and their family put a stop to it. I know my mum etc can have a nasty streak. She told me to stop DS seeing his dad when we spilt when there was absolutely no reason to do so. My uncle has always been a bit of a thug and apparently he threatened him.

But then if a dad really wanted to see his child, wouldn’t they fight for access?

I have this whole family I’ve never met and Deep down I do want to meet them but I’m scared of my mothers reaction. But then nearly 27 years has passed surely my mother is over it by now?

OP posts:
JKCR2017 · 22/12/2018 19:03

My partner keeps telling me he’s not worth it. He’s also never had a dad but he had closure from meeting him at 19 and realising how he was a bit of a t**t so didn’t carry on the relationship.

I’m not really close to DM anymore. We aren’t alike at all. She has mentioned before I remind her of my dad (personality wise). My stepdad brought me up but I’m particularly close anymore. I have no siblings close in age (all a lot younger) and I feel a bit lonely at times. I know I have a great partner and children but I get really jealous of other adults who are so close to their parents. I don’t have that, even with my mum at the minute!

OP posts:
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