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Mobile Phones and Pre Teens SO HELP ME GOD!

8 replies

squillion · 21/12/2018 09:15

OMG I swear I could kill whoever invented the mobile phone. Are all 11 year olds phone mad or just my kid? Talk about a dog with a bone!

I can understand her excitement at getting a shiny new phone and adding a friend or two to her contacts list. I can also understand her hoping the phone will ring or a text message will beep just at the right moment so as to announce " look everybody I'm so grown up because I've got my own phone!"

So my DD discovered a "fake call" app. It basically makes your phone ring, showing a recently used contact as supposedly the person who is calling you. She installed it about 6 months ago and her phone simply would not stop ringing. Like a total mug I called Three who said that it sounded like she had downloaded some malware with a game and they very kindly changed her number for her.

Fast forward a couple of months later - after the long chat we had about checking with me before she downloads any games. Same problem. Rang Three again. They sent a new sim card out.

Chat # 2 with DD about downloading games and malware etc.

Fast forward another few weeks. Same problem. Three changed her number AGAIN!.

I checked her call logs and it appeared that her friend was calling her at 3am, 6am etc. I had a quiet chat with her mother about it. Her mother apologises. Next day mother rings me to advise that her child had not made any such calls to my daughter. My turn to apologise profusely and explain about phone problems. (Talk about feeling like a total TW*T).

Then I caught her red handed. She had been downloading a "fake call" app - repeatedly. She had been doing this all along for 6 months, lying to me that she had no idea why her phone was ringing so much.

I placed a restriction on downloads on her phone.

Yesterday DD tried to download "free fake call app" from google chrome.

I am 2 seconds away from taking a hammer to that sodding phone!

AAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHH

I am trying to teach her independence. Next year she will need to walk to the bus stop by herself and get herself to and from middle school and she needs her phone for safety/contacting me. I would love nothing more than to remove the phone once and for all but this is really not an option for me. I work full time and she is growing up and quite frankly I could not bear the stress of not being able to check where she is/make contact with her all day.

I Installed Family Time this morning. That should help.

Is it just me? Am I going mad? Is my daughter "odd"? HELP ME!

(Rant over, now breathing, drinking tea and eating an entire packet of Cadbury's Fingers and feeling much better for it - oh the healing powers of chocolate)

Any pearls of wisdom very welcome. Thanks.

OP posts:
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Timeforabiscuit · 21/12/2018 09:19

Very kindly - She needs to have the phone removed, she isnt able to use it correctly and went completely against your instructions.

If she needs it for calls, then a brick phone will do that - it doesnt need to be a big deal, she's clearly struggling with self censoring/control and is just a bit young for it.

Its a stress on you and her that you dont need Flowers

Finfintytint · 21/12/2018 09:19

Id buy a basic non smart mobile so you can still keep in contact.

PerspicaciaTick · 21/12/2018 09:32

My family all have android phones and I use Family Link to manage their apps, screen time, bed time etc. Tis fab and easy to use. When they try and install an app, I get a message on my phone asking my permission. Very, very easy to use.

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vdbfamily · 21/12/2018 09:39

With my 12 year old Dd she loses her phone for several days every time she does something she should not. So we have spot checks and if she has been joining in anything mean, or using swear words or downloading social media apps that she is not supposed to be on etc. She will improve for a few weeks but we still get occasional blips! If I were you I would tell her this is last chance saloon and if she downloads it one more time she will lose the phone for a month. Hopefully by September when she needs a phone she will have learnt. I also, with 3 teenagers, would happily kill the inventor of smart phones.

squillion · 21/12/2018 09:51

To vdbfamily

Well if you ever act on your impulse, I'll help you bury the body.
Wink

OP posts:
peachypetite · 21/12/2018 09:56

You've given her more than enough chances to improve. She's not ready for it.

bsc · 21/12/2018 10:14

You're the parent- she has shown you consistently that she isn't mature enough yet for this responsibility- help her!
Take it out of her room at night- charge it downstairs, so she can't be using it at 3am etc.
Is there some way you can stop purchases?

Saisong · 21/12/2018 10:14

Family Link is brilliant for having that sort of control. Can't download anything without permission. Controls total screen time and bedtime. Also has map so can see location.

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