Toddler Nightmares

[DorothyLNaySayers]

My nearly three-year-old is waking up most nights screaming and sobbing, She’s got her eyes closed, so obviously she’s having a nightmare, but the frequency and violence of them are freaking me out slightly. Is this normal?

It’s usually only once a night, but it takes ages to settle her back to sleep again. I go in and try to soothe her, and usually end up taking her in my arms and walking round for a bit until I can put her back into bed without bringing on a fresh attack of crying. This usually takes at least half an hour.

We also get hysterics at bedtime, as she tries everything possible to ge out of going to bed. I feel so sorry for her, but also incredibly frustrated, and I’m beginning to dread bedtime myself.

Is there anything more I can do, or do I just have to wait for it to pass?

Bump

Totally normal. Night terrors are horrible. My two youngest used to have them. Because they share a room I used to wake them and remove them from the room. Soothe then back into bed

@HankyPanky04 sorry, went to bed.

Thanks for the reassurance. How long did yours keep having them for? I’m praying this phase will pass quickly.

Roughly a year. Sometimes they would have a couple most nights then they could go a week without any. Some where the same time at night others were random.

Good news is they did grow out of it

My DS has had night terrors from around 8 months.

The triggers we found are as follows:
Going to be over tired
Screen time within an hour before bed
Becoming too hot or having a high temperature
Being disturbed from a deep sleep
Being told off close to bedtime - I.e. something being on his mind

We had to create the most relaxing bedtime routine we possibly could
Sometimes if we sense something is off, we would give calpol before bed
We would try not to disturb him after he's fallen asleep

When they have them, you're not supposed to wake them or touch them, because then they wake confused and scared and it'll have a knock on effect for bedtime. So as hard as it is, we just sit and watch him saying 'Mummies/Daddies here' over and over again, then when he wakes naturally, he's much calmer

Going to be over tired
Screen time within an hour before bed
Becoming too hot or having a high temperature
Being told off close to bedtime - I.e. something being on his mind

Oh. I think we've been guilty of all of the above in recent times. She was off sick all last week, and we gave in to evening Peppa, which was obviously a bad idea. She now demands Peppa and we have to fight with her to turn it off and get her into the bath.

Thanks very much, @SPR1107 . I'll try addressing the above tonight and see if that improves things any.

I think (& someone May correct me if I’m wrong) that if they’re around the same time each night, if you disturb them a little before that time it helps change their sleep cycle slightly. Or something.

As far as dealing with peppa, you might find starting to talk about it early in the day helps. So

‘we’re going To have a lovely bedtime tonight, no silly crying or arguments.’
‘After tea, You and daddy will have lots of fun at bathtime, then I’ll come and bundle you into your lovely warm towel.’
‘Would you like to choose your pyjamas after your bath?’

I would try to avoid saying explicitly ‘there’ll be no peppa tonight’ cos you might bring the tantrum forward. Also you want her focussed on what a lovely time you’ll all have going to bed.
Anything you can think of in a calm, light tone. I do realise this is easier said than done!

I'll try that, Coldhandscoldheart, thank you.

Luckily, she's just got a present of new books from her auntie, so we might open them tonight as a distraction from bloody Peppa.

We've been guilty of all of them too OP... after all, that's the only way we found out they contributed!
If she's been poorly, that can cause them too.
I really feel for you, they're horrid aren't they. Longest one DS had was over an hour, I was convinced the police were going to knock on the door as it was the middle of the night and so loud.

My nearly 3 year old daughter has suffered with night terrors since about 6 months old. It really is awful to watch and to hear. Sounds like she's being attacked, completely screams the house down. She hits and kicks out. We've tried everything that we can think of to soothe her but. The best thing seams to be to just sit quietly by her bed to stop her falling out. And when it's all over give her a kiss and tuck her back in.
She never wakes up.
I was a sleep walker as a child and now I talk and laugh in my sleep. I do wonder if she will take up sleep walking. That would be even more alarming.

This is completely normal, and will pass. My DS1 (6) had night terrors. I used to try and wake him until I read about how you're not supposed to do that. 😬

He wakes thrashing and screaming, he seems absolutely terrified. His eyes are open but he's categorically not awake - he has no memory of it in the morning. It almost always happens around an hour after he goes to bed and, after months of wondering, I finally found out what was causing it: TV close to bedtime. If I let him watch TV in the hour before bed, he will have night terrors, like clockwork. No screens in that hour; no terrors.

Hope it passes soon for you. xxx