When did you first leave dc for a weekend?

[Pantheon]

Hi, my friend wants to have a hen do weekend abroad. My dd will be about 14 months. I'm still breastfeeding and think maybe she'll have 2/3 feeds a day by then? I'd like to go but haven't left her for more than a few hours yet...I guess I'd have to express? My dh will look after her, so not sure why I'm so nervous about it!

13 and 10

I think you will probably need to express, just for your own comfort more than anything.

How old is LO now?

I haven't and my eldest is 16!
I don't do the whole weekend away thing. It isn't my idea of fun.
If you want to go away, then go. You don't need justification. On the breastfeeding side, at 14 months its hard to say how it will affect things. Its completely individual unfortunately.

Mine is 19m and I've left him for the weekend a few times, either with my DH or his grandparents (see him very often, knows them well).

I think you need to have your own interests and downtime as a parent. I'm a much more relaxed happy mum when I'm not stressed and fed up.

Once she’s 12 months you can start Night weaning which should make things easier

Does she happily take a bottle? Mine never did so I took hubby and baby on the hen too (well they came to the same place, but we stayed in a different hotel) and I just popped in and out of the hen when I could. It wasn’t until I had fully stopped breast feeding that I could go away for longer (at about 16mths).....

I did at 18 months for a wedding abroad; it was really hard but it did me a lot of good to have some rest. I wasn’t breastfeeding by then though; it kind of depends what your plan is with feeding but you’d have to pump while you’re away

I wasn’t breastfeeding by that point, but I first left my DTs at 12 weeks for a weekend away.

I left my second at 16mo for a hen weekend. He wasn't bothered about not feeding whilst I wasn't there and just picked up as normal once I was back. I didn't need to express or feel particularly uncomfortable over the weekend but I had been breastfeeding for a long time by that point (over 3 years with DD and then DS) so not sure if that made a difference.

2.5 years

It’s not just about the feeding - they will miss you and not understand where you’ve gone. And you’ll miss them!

Personally I’d just say no unless you really really want to go

14 months would be a no.

Mine were about 6 and 4,

I went on a hen weekend when my baby was about 8 weeks old it was fine! Also had other nights away and everyones always been happy. Your dh will be more than ok especially if baby will be 14 months. If you are anxious maybe let dad have baby and have a night out and see how you feel before committing to a hen weekend

DS is 10, it hasn't happened yet.

Thanks everyone. It helps to hear different perspectives. Dd is 10 months old and I think we'll start gentle night weaning when she's one. I haven't tried her with a bottle in ages so I'm not sure but she does well with a sippy cup for water.

Yes, that's what I'm worried about - she won't yet be old enough to understand and we'll just miss each other. If she weren't such a good friend I'd have just said I can't.

I went to my BF’s hendo when my DS was almost 1. I was still breastfeeding and was v anxious about leaving him - although I hid it from my friend as I didn’t want to put a downer on things. Apparently he asked for me a few times but was good as good for his dad. He had formula and EBM whilst I was away and wasn’t much fussed about my boobs when I came home so - for us - it was a sign he was ready to be fully weaned.
I’m glad I went. I had fun.
But everyone is different.

Acorn I know a family where the mum did that - the baby screamed all weekend. Her oh told her the baby was fine and barely noticed she was gone - because he wanted her to have a good time and because he wanted to prove ‘he could do it’.

Red that’s what most men would do though surely? Why would they upset you by telling you they’ve screamed?

That’s the point. Acorns baby might not have been as happy about the weekend as the person looking after it told her!!

You just have to balance how you’ll know theyll be against how much you want and/or need the time off.
For me - I tried to stay away once and got so engorged and panicky and knew baby was crying that I ended up getting last train home. It made me happy and baby happy and friend understood as I explained and they could see the state I was in. Not easy to do when you are abroad so you need to be sure.
Baby will be fine - it’s just whether it’s worth it for both of you

I think starting gentle night Weaning at 12 months sounds like a good idea. I also second the suggestion of having a couple of night out and leaving her with DH to see how they both get on

I did cheat whilst I was away: our baby monitor is connected to my phone so I did spy on DS and DH a handful of times to check how they were getting on.
Tbf, I forgot to add that we nightweaned him at about 10months.
You’re right that DH might not have been as honest with me to spare my feelings. I haven’t been away since and he’s now 14months

By nightweaning I mean overnight. He still breastfed at bedtime. But wasn’t fed to sleep.

2 months was the first time we left her for 1 night and 7 months for a weekend away.

We're going on a city break when she'll be 13 months for 3 nights

We went away for 2 nights at about 18 months but only about 2 hours away by car. I didn't travel abroad without them until they were in school, and that was only a very short flight away with very frequent flights, for one night.
I think you should do what you feel comfortable and happy with. If it was my hen do, I would completely understand if you didn't come.

I left DS for 5 days when he was 5 months old. DD and I were camping with friends at a festival, DS and OH were at home with a freezer full of breast milk and were fine.