When did you have a second child?

[Mum2Arthur]

I'm new here, so hey girls! I've been a member of a few mummy groups on Facebook but due to knowing a few people on the groups I don't like posting on there much anymore, so I have downloaded this app today in hope to seek advice off other mummy's in confidence
Anyway, I have an 18 month old little boy called Arthur and me and my partner have spoken about trying for our second child in the next few months. So I was just wondering when other mummy's started thinking about a second baby and how old their first was when you had the baby, what was it like? How did you find? Etc! Xxx

Hello and welcome to MN. We tried for a 2 year gap but actually got a 3 year gap which was fine because DC1 was in preschool 2 days a week.

I have an 18 mth gap between my DCs, but I had a miscarriage in between them.

3.5 years between my two. In hindsight I wish I'd either had the second sooner or later than I did. My DS is starting school in September and I think it would have been easier with him at school. But then I also think having them closer together, whilst hard, would have got it out of the way.

There are disadvantages and advantages to small and big age gaps.

I had just over 3 years between DC1 and DC2, I actually wanted a two year age gap (I had two miscarriages between) but am quite happy with three years. DS1 had finished the terrible twos so was easier to manage so I was way less stressed than I would have been.

Mine are 2 years 3months apart. It’s a challenge, but not too bad. They are now 3.5 and 14m and the oldest goes to nursery on a morning now so that helps a lot with my sanity. A lot of my friends from my DS baby group have very similar age gap so my DD has a ready made gang of little friends that we see a lot for play dates

4 years here. Would have been 3 but had a late miscarriage so ended up being 4. I love it, dc1 was nearly in school and was so great and understood if I had to ask her to wait sometimes while I fed or changed her sister and was great company for me. They're thick as thieves now in between bouts of murdering each other but that's sisters from my experience.

We had an exactly 2.5 year gap, which is what we wanted. Looking back, DC1 was still such a sweet baby angel at that time! He took to big brotherhood so so well. He had just started nursery 2 days a week so that was nice too, 1:1 time with the new baby.

Next time we’ll have a 3 or 3.5 year gap, only because time with the second baby is so diluted. No way will I feel ready for a new baby in a few months when DC2 is the age DC1 was when I got pregnant. I want more time with the second alone still. I find it amazing I was pregnant again when DS1 was still aged 1!!

However, all my friends have had their second when their first was between 3 or 3.5 (just coincidence!). Without fail all the 3 year olds had a hard time adjusting, far more jealousy, much much more aware of their time with their parents now being shared. At 3 their understanding, vocab etc is so much more advanced. I just mean, from what I’ve seen (5 or 6 families), the difference between 2.5 and 3 is vast and the 3 year olds definitely struggled more!

As I said though, we’ll do a bigger gap for baby 3 because I’m not done with baby 2 yet 😄

Also at 2.5 DS was old enough to fetch nappies, dummies etc and revelled in it.

2.5 year age gap which was planned and has proved to be perfect. Not so close that they are constantly compared, but enough of a gap to get through the 'hard work' stages pretty quickly. Days out, holidays etc over the years have been a dream. Everyone easy to please. Helps that they are the same gender though.

Hi and welcome. Love the name Arthur!

2 year gap and its mostly great. It is SO tiring as they are currently both demanding but in totally different ways, and both still quite dependent on us. I was semi prepared as everyone said I was in for a total nightmare, and it hasn't ever felt that intense, fortunately!

They're very fond of each other, good children overall (after a VERY jealous blip at the start!) and good sleepers. We can go out as a family and they can do the same thing. They play with some of the same toys. They'll be at similar stages through school life which should be a big logistical advantage. I'm most looking forward to my youngest growing up a bit so they can really play together, and fingers crossed the smallish gap means they'll be close. No one person can know the 'ideal' gap, if such a thing exists, but our family seems to work well with the 2 years

3 years,9 months and two days between them.

Hi op!

They'll be a 15 month age gap between DD1 and DD2 when she arrives in March!

Also I love the name Arthur, that was going to be DD1's name had she been a boy.

About 16 minutes after Baby 1

4yr age gap between 1&2 and 3. At the start, it was brilliant. Meant I had my twins' first school year off on maternity leave. They settled so much better (than if they'd been at after school etc), did play dates, I was a playground mum and No 3 was completely transportable. Made do many friends (as they did) that it set the whole family up socially.

Now 4yrs is starting to show - teenagers & 9yr old and I wish the gap was closer (but wouldn't change what that year off gap is as a family)

Just under 2 years between my 2. In a way it's great because they are such good friends now and share all their toys, they like the same things, etc. Otoh it's been hard work - the first year in particular was extremely difficult and pushed my marriage to the absolute brink. They are 2 and 4 now and I still get told by complete strangers that I look like I've 'got my hands full' at least once a week. And I'm permanently shattered. If I was stupid enough to go for a 3rd I'd like a 3.5 year age gap, although that would mean conceiving this month - which is certainly not happening!

Too soon!
My eldest two are 11 months apart. I wouldn't recommend it.

16.5 years between 1 and 2.

Had our first young
7.5 years between 1&2.

Then I wanted two closer..
So if baby no3 comes on time there will be 2.4 years between them..

2 years between DC1 and DC2 and 5 years between DC2 and DC3

We are TTC now wanting a 3 year gap 🥰

We were planning on a 3 year gap.

Ended up being 18 months

We have a two year and 3 months gap between between dd1 and ds1 then an 8 year gap between ds1 and ds2 who was not planned but is very loved anyway. It is when you are happy and feel like it. Just remember it might take a few months or even a year to get caught.

14m gap between DS1 and DS2.
26m between DS2 and DS3.
16m gap between DS3 and DD.

I will be 45 when DD is 18

I have found this fine btw when they were little. I am finding it more challenging now the eldest two are 12 and 13 🙄