Help me think of ways to encourage my toddler to eat

[SparkleHorse82]

I've posted about this before on AIBU, but it's a few months on and nothing has changed.
My 16 month old will only eat a handful of foods. Background: she has IGE mediated allergies to egg and dairy (we carry an epi pen). She was slow to wean due to minor reactions to almost everything at the beginning. Now has 14 teeth and can handle chunks - if she wants to.
But her repertoire is still so limited.
She loves carbs: sandwiches, toast, crumpets, rice, potato in any form, sweet potato, cereals eg weetabix or sometimes porridge, pasta.
Otherwise she will eat alpro yoghurt, banana, salmon and mackerel, baked beans, green beans, vegan cheese if grated, any kind of rubbish baby snacks eg rice cakes, veggie straws, mini gingerbread men etc. That's it!
Most days I give her a fruit pouch to get some vitamins in her - she won't try any other fruits in non pureed form.
We try to cook proper meals at least once a day - twice if it's a day i'm not at work (i work three days) and sometimes she'll try a few mouthfuls of it before eating the carb element and leaving/throwing the rest. One day she ate a lot of chicken caserole but it was a one off! I was so excited. Sometimes I cave and give her a savoury pouch because i worry so much about how little variety there is in her diet.
At first I didn't worry as i know they all get there in their own time but now i'm getting very concerned. We have a dietician who isn't too worried yet as she's growing and putting on weight.
We eat together and the same thing whenever possible but both OH and I are shiftworkers plus have other allergies so it's not possible every single day.
I still breastfeed 3 times in 24 hours minimum (she won't take any alternative milks except in cereal).
Sorry for the essay! I'm just looking for tips and reassurance for more experienced parents. Any ideas? I feel like she's getting really behind her peers now and I worry that has her calorie needs increase she'll start getting hungry...

Just trying to think what I cook for my own kid.
Scrambled egg, French toast, sweet potato roasted, sp chips, beans, pasta/spaghetti cheese/bolognese, bags of carrot sweetcorn, fish
Hard to think! I think your dd eats OK variety -

Tbh her diet doesn't sound that bad. You have proteins, veg, carbs, dairy and breast milk.
What I would do is just keep adding a small portion of food she won't eat to her plate every day alongside food she does eat. She will get there - and I say that as the mother of a baby led weaned child who would eat no protein other than cheese and baked beans until she was 4. She now eats sausage, lentils, and Bolognese. Still room for improvement of course but they get there!

i thought you were going to say something like. she only eats the corners of bread, a lick of a cheese string and green grapes.

sounds fine, just keep introducing foods with ones she likes, she;ll be fine

give her vitamin drops/gummies/tablets whatever :)

Actually you know her diet sounds ok.
Try to step back.
If you imagine her whole life being a book, this would be such a tiny part of a small paragraph.
I can pretty much guarantee that she will grow up to be tall and strong , and to eat well.

I think the tension created in you by having to carry an epi pen and watch her carefully must be immense, don’t underestimare it. But don’t let it force your hand in thinking you have to attend to all her needs with the same vigilance that you need for her allergies. Many things with toddlers will sort themselves out on their own.

Please don’t think I’m trying to say you are neurotic, I think your concerns are all valid. But I also think you probably don’t need to apply yourself to sorting them out.

Best of luck with it all.

I used to sit my now 18 month old in his high chair next to me while I was cooking (he likes to sit on the counter now!) and give him all the vegetables get him to say the names.

I’ve found he’ll try pretty much anything in the kitchen- raw pepper, carrots, mushroom...I’ve actually had to stop him trying to eat raw onion!

He loves trying whatever we’re eating, eats better in general if we’re all eating together and likes having his own cutlery - we go for a double fork approach as he’s still a bit rubbish at feeding himself.

Also, probably against the grain but I don’t always make him sit in his high chair to eat and let him run around with slices of apple/toast etc.

also make sure you're giving her whote bread/pasta etc -it's fortfied and fills them up slower.

Or just cut out the carbs at some meals...

That sounds like she eats a decent variety of things. What would happen If you changed the consistency of something she already eats. Eg banana pancakes? They're egg/dairy free. Mixing banana and avocado together as a dip for toast or grating some apple into the yoghurt she eats?

Just try to relax. The range of foods you list there is varied. She’ll imprive as she gets older. If you get tense about it, she will. If you “encourage”, food will become a battleground.

See a paediatric nutritionist if it sets your mind at ease, but that eull be considered a varied, more than adequate, diet.

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this thread - we had a family bereavement so I got very distracted.
Some excellent advice here which I've taken on board and things have improved. Her appetite is generally growing and it with it her willingness to try new things, even if it's just one tiny nibble at first.
I want to say a special thank you to Ohyesiam for this advice: "Don’t let it force your hand in thinking you have to attend to all her needs with the same vigilance that you need for her allergies." That really spoke to me - I think you're right that my default mode has become hypervigilance in all matters which is unnecessary. Just that sentence really helped me relax about her eating which I think she's picked up on.
Thanks again everyone!