How soon is too soon

[EmLS]

Im currently pregnant, and my friends are arranging a night away, for a hen do, it's one of my closest friends, and would love to go, the problem is, my baby will only be a month old when I'm away. My friends are being very supportive and understanding, as I feel it might be too soon to leave him/her, but one of them has rightly said, you'll have to leave the baby sooner or later, why not get it over and done with, get it out the way earlier so it's not as painful. I'm leaning towards declining the invite, am I being too soft? It's my first baby, so I've not experienced this before.

It will most likely be too soon for you both....

I'm guessing the friend who suggested getting it over with is either childless or has forgotten what it's like? It's a bit much to use that reasoning for a one month old

My first is now one and I had no clue pre birth just how physically (and emotionally) attached I would be!!

My son is 3 months old and I still couldn't leave him overnight, let alone at 1 month. I think you'd likely find it very difficult to be honest, especially if you're already not sure.

I wouldn't, personally. A couple of hours maybe, if it was a very important thing, but not a night away (presuming overnight?). Plus if you are breastfeeding, you'll still be getting supply established and probably not pumping/expressing by then. I'm not sure I'd be able to enjoy it anyway (plus if your baby is late then it could end up being only a couple of weeks).

Thanks everyone, you've all confirmed what I'd already thought. Xx

I left my dd at 2 months old as I was bridesmaid at my sisters wedding and her grandmother had her I had a brilliant time but Undisturbed sleep but missed her loads like no other/ I missed her hen Cz I'm I was pregnant but could not miss the wedding!
I don't regret it and baby will never remember but everyone is different
As long as baby in good hands I don't see prob n one night is a few hours in babyland xx

Errr great advice from your friend Giving birth left me feeling totally battered and bruised for at least a week (c section recovery took much longer) and I pretty much don’t remember much of the first few months of my babies lives cause there’s no tiredness like it! So a hen do wouldn’t have been on my radar. Some women breeze it but most don’t and the trouble is that you won’t know until you do it.

By the way I still don’t like leaving my babies (6yrs and 4yrs )

My son is three and never left him over night with somebody else 😂
You won't know how you feel until your baby arrives, but chances are you will not want to stay anywhere overnight..you will much prefer being covered in baby sick 😂

You won't know until the baby is here.

You could go 2 weeks over, c section, bad tears.

You might not want to leave them so early.

Assuming not breastfeeding?

I wouldn't do it for a hen do.

Google 4th trimester. This was really important for me for me the first three months were a write off I just wanted to concentrate on my family and the ridiculous adjustment it was.

A c section wouldn't be a problem - for me recovery was days, not weeks, but it's whether you feel like leaving or not. I left my daughter overnight at 2-3 months, but wasn't breastfeeding, so that wasn't an issue. Tbh, it felt fine.

If the baby came early or on time it would be a maybe from me, but not if the baby came very late.

It depends on the c section though Sleeplikeasloth. They are not all equal.

If you think it is too soon now then it definitely will be too soon after your baby is here.

DD was over a year the first time I left her over night and that was with DH.

I didn’t leave DS until he was 1, and he was FF. I just didn’t want to. I went out for a few nights out once he was 6 months plus though.
I would say 1 month is a bit soon.

The thing is, making a decision to leave your baby isn’t the rational, logical decision your friend implies.

You’ll make the decision based on hormone fuelled instinct and pure emotion.

Not that make people are comfortable leaving their tiny baby.

And leaving your baby for a night out at a month is entirely different to leaving them at 6 months or later.

Your friend is making it sound simple and it’s really not.

It's a personal thing, some people do leave their babies young, some have to for various reasons. Whatever you decide is ok - there's no right or wrong answer. A side note is that's it's quite uncomfortable to leave your baby when demand breastfeeding but I did manage one night away myself a little later on though.

You won't want to be away during the newborn phase - it's a really vital time for bonding plus you're still recovering from the birth and being a first time parent. If you breastfeed it would be virtually impossible this early too as you're milk supply is still establishing
I have known mums have a night away within the first couple of months but i have been pretty judgey about it tbh as it would be totally against most new mums instincts