What would be the one thing you wish you'd done before your first child was born?

[Crossfitgirl]

So I have just found out I'm expecting my first child, and although we are so excited, I know that my freedom to do spontaneous things, certain holidays and experiences will be off the cards in about 8 months time - at least for a while!
I would be interested to know from other parents if there is anything you really valued doing / wished you had done, maybe one last time before your first was born?

I think the Maldives is off the cards (can only dream 😂!) What would you plan if you could go back in time to where I am now?

Found the number of a good, local IBCLC

Tried harder to convince DH a doula was a good idea (took me a long time to get over my resentment that it was his choice not to have one and it was me that suffered at the hands of the midwives not him)

Got the number of a good postnatal Pilates teacher - I have one now and it’s a revelation, I’ve rediscovered my pelvic floor!

Spent more time identifying my pelvic floor muscles by inserting a finger into vagina and tightening the muscles.

Bought the biggest floor bed I had room for / could afford.

In terms of holidays and experiences I had a wild old life before kids so didn’t regret forgoing those when I did.

Built and maintained a portfolio of work in fields that interest me.

Go to Glastonbury!!!

... and travel, especially if you live in the UK, such a great location for having the opportunity to travel to multiple countries super cheap.

Nothing I was 35 and had pretty much ticked off everything on my to do list except have a child!

During pregnancy I would recommend a spa trip and taking mat leave as early as possible and doing what you fancy. I lazed, slept, read books, enjoyed having two free hands, made stuff for the baby. It was bliss, I was so so relaxed. Not sure if it was connected but my baby popped out very chilled and slept all the time!

Found the number of a good, local IBCLC

Oh yes this! This a million times. Maybe even booked an appointment in advance.

I think this is all grass is greener stuff. As in you can’t really appreciate these things until you’ve lost them, if you know what I mean? It is so true that you will look back and wonder what you did with your time, but getting lots of sleep now won’t make you feel much better when you’re months down the line and cant recall what more than 3hrs sleep felt like. Just do what you enjoy, relax and try to savour your pregnancy if you’re not too ill with it.

I never understand why people tell pregnant women to sleep lots now, beyond the actual need for them to rest - you can't save up sleep! It's not like if I'd napped more six months ago I'd be thinking 'oh, having a five month old who sleeps badly is so easy because I have all this sleep in my sleep bank...'.

I went on a long haul holiday while pregnant because I figured I wouldn't do it again for a long time, and I'm glad I did, but then I had quite a physically easy pregnancy - lots of people told me that booking an eight hour flight when 28 weeks pregnant was a terrible idea, and I was lucky that I didn't end up regretting it, so I don't know if that's really to be recommended!

I would have sorted a lot more things in the house, in hindsight - we did get a new boiler and that was wise, but we should have sorted some more of the nagging problems of our house, as now we have neither time nor money.

Nothing to do with banking sleep for me, all to do with appreciating that you could take long luxuriant naps whenever you wanted.

Installed the bloody car seat
Was trickier than it looked.

Maybe eaten out more (although that was a whole minefield too).
Rest of the stuff I pretty much had out of my system.
Oh wait- buy a house. Still waiting on that one.

Thanks so much for all the great suggestions!

And thanks for those suggesting the IBCLC and reading up on breastfeeding - I'm only 6 weeks so I haven't read a thing yet, but BF is definitely something I want to do, and I can't even stand DH going near them normally so a DC hanging off them is going to be a revelation in itself! Crazy as I may be this early, I've already booked onto antenatal classes nearer the time of my due date.

I feel quite reassured that we do already do a lot of the things suggested. We get out the house a lot, we go on weekend breaks, we've had some lovely holidays and date nights etc- we are both fans of fine dining so will definitely be making the most of eating out prior to baby coming.

I guess it's how much we have to cut back in order to save up as well... it's all good and well treating ourselves now but definitely need to consider how expensive babies are and how shit maternity pay is!

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing all your ideas! I have shown DH too:-)