Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Breastfeeding in public

14 replies

mummyp33 · 12/12/2018 13:26

Hi all, I'm a ftm to a gorgeous 12 week old baby girl. She's an ebf baby and after a few difficulties initially with breastfeeding we are now both happy and well established and she's thriving. My question is how do you overcome the fear of breastfeeding in public, I've been blessed with a very good milk supply so I also do express so OH can feed LO every so often, however last week in a restaurant we ran out the house without taking express milk and obviously bubs was hungry. OH told me to have the confidence to bf at the table because baby needs to eat but it's just that initial fear of people looking and then being told not to by staff as you read in papers. I'm a naturally shy person and don't have the confidence to confront anyone, so I went and fed LO in the car. I'd like to be able to bf If u needed to in public but just wondering how to get over that initial fear.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jackshouse · 12/12/2018 13:28

Start by going to a breast feeding group. Then try to find a quiet corner of cafe and just build up your confidence.

OneBiscuitAtATime · 12/12/2018 13:32

I second a local parent and baby or breastfeeding group. Also start in an environment where you can chose your seat for privacy. Most big shopping centres have feeding rooms now which I found great for getting out to practice. My problem now with DD at 5 months is that she’s too nosy to feed well in public now!

LemonChiffon · 12/12/2018 13:32

I've breastfed my two children for a combined 5 years. I fed them anywhere and everywhere. Didn't use a cover. I never had a single negative comment. You will be fine!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old 3-6 months old Babies & sleep Breast & bottle feeding

RubertRoo · 12/12/2018 13:32

Try going to a baby group or breast feeding group at first just whilst you get used to feeding in public. Then maybe a cafe with friends or DH or just somebody so you don't feel alone like people are looking whilst you build up confidence

Rarotonga · 12/12/2018 13:33

Congratulations on your baby OP and well done for keeping going with bf when it was hard. If it helps I have fed my 21 month old all over the place and nobody has ever made a negative comment . I was very nervous at first but ds was a very unsettled baby so had to soothe him with bf pretty much everywhere i went. I tried using a cover but my baby did not like it! Do you know any other bf mums? Do you have a local bf group such as la leche league? I found it easier when it was more normalised for me...seeing others doing it...

Aridane · 12/12/2018 13:33

(I have been reading too much of the Trans section of Mumsnet as I read FTM as female to male )

Theweasleytwins · 12/12/2018 13:34

I generally fed my twins in the feeding rooms if we went to town or the family room- so toilet cubicle/changing table and curtained off area to feed in. Then got more confident

PerfectPeony · 12/12/2018 13:36

I agree start with a breastfeeding group.

Also, if you are self conscious. Invest in a good BF wardrobe. Buy loads of plain strappy tops and do the one top up- one down method with a feeding bra. You literally can’t see anything this way. Watch some breastfeeding in public videos on YouTube for an example

People really don’t care- the not BF in public is just a weird media thing. The more you do it the more comfortable you will feel. I used to worry but now I just don’t care, I don’t even look around- just concentrate on feeding the baby. Expressing is such a faff and I can’t be bothered!

ElyElyOy · 12/12/2018 13:37

I found BF groups actually off-putting, but lots of people find them helpful.

I just started sitting in quiet cafes with my back to the room facing the corner and slowly got more confident.

You can get cover-ups but to be honest I think they draw more attention to it (and look a bit daft!). I just wear float scarfs which I don’t use to cover up, but more just for those few seconds I’m getting baby latched on.

I still BF my 18 month old and have done it everywhere and never once had a comment or negative look or anything.

QuickGetTheEggplants · 12/12/2018 13:38

Breastfeeding in public I've had no negative comments, one positive comment, and a lot of people not even realise I was breastfeeding (if you have enough clothing coverage it just looks like you're holding your baby on a diagonal for some reason).

I find feeding more discreet if I have coverage over the top of my breast, so pulling a shirt up (or wearing two layers and pulling one shirt up and one shirt down).

Parisetoile · 12/12/2018 13:48

Some excellent advice here. (I bf my 3dc until around 12 months. ) I too did not want to flash boobs in public but I think most people respect that babies must be fed, please do not feed your baby in the car!!
The advice of what to wear is the best advice. As previous payers have said strappy top underneath, then one top down one up. I also always brought a fine silk type scarf with me to drape over baby/boob for further discretion but obviously didn't want to smother baby. I think your confidence is key. If you get on with it with no fuss, no one will bother. I would eat my meal whilst baby fed. I never had any negative comments, just positive ones. Covering up my boob was very key to me feeding baby confidently In a public place.
Well done with your bf and congratulations.

Original poster

mummyp33 · 12/12/2018 15:21

Thanks everyone. Yes I agree, expressing is a faff but I know OH loves giving LO a bottle now and then as a bonding thing. I just need to pluck up the confidence, I suppose as a first time mum it's just daunting, and baby has to eat :) I certainly wouldn't eat in the car or the loo so why should she. I think I'll start off by just sitting somewhere discretely if we are out, my partner is the opposite of me and excudes confidence so will always ask for the most suitable table in the restaurant.

OP posts:

Bluebelltulip · 12/12/2018 15:30

I purposely went to a garden centre cafe on my own to effectively get the first public feed out of the way. I never received any negative comments and was frequently offered water or table service in places.

NoParticularPattern · 12/12/2018 15:40

What really helped me at the start was knowing how protected you are by law here in the UK. You are legally allowed to feed anywhere where you are allowed to be and it is an offence for anyone to move you on or for you to receive poor service simply because you are breastfeeding. The only places you aren’t allowed to are those you (or baby) aren’t allowed to be- men only spaces for example or height restricted rollercoasters would be another (I know I’m ridiculous but it’s illustrating the point, you’re basically allowed to do it anywhere you are legally allowed to be!) I also found it helped when I bought a nursing top. I don’t use it much now, but in the early days I had a top from gap that had a super discreet panel to pull up and the bit underneath went down and it was so discreet to feed in that honestly I’ve had people not even notice despite holding a conversation with them! I also second the advice to get to a baby group or something (attachment parenting groups are usually good for this!) and build up that way!

Flip