Parenting differences - partner shouting

[GenericUsername101]

I'm desperately seeking some advice or insight from anyone, maybe those that have been in this situation, but I'm pretty much at the end of my rope with DH. We have 2 boys aged 1 and 2 so very little and can be hard work, especially with two so close together, but he constantly complains about them and shouts at them when they don't do what they should. I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't yell at kids, particularly ones so little, but he disagrees and says if my way worked they'd be better behaved 😳 They are by no means terrors (he may disagree though) and in my opinion they do respond better to a more positive approach, but how do I get through to him? Or is he right in that I can't force him to do everything my way? He's never been violent or anything like that I just hate the yelling and moaning, and don't want my boys being scared of him ☹️

DH has been like that but I did this positive parenting course (and then asked the lady running it to do a separate session with me and DH), and we have a short list of family rules now up on the wall. No violence, no rudeness, no shouting. Infringements of the first means time out for one minute. For the last two, it is a warning and then time out for one minute.

These rules are for everyone. I have been on time out for shouting. DH liked the theory, was annoyed in practice but with help from the positive parenting people, it is getting better. He generally calms down after a warning now.

I think he would still struggle if DS gave him a warning but he is removing himself better from tricky situations.

He has never shouted at anyone before and neither of our families are easy so this all came as a bit of a shock!

Thanks for that, I'm keen to do a course or something, will have a look and see if I can find anything near me (not in U.K.). I like the idea of the same consequences for everyone - but that may take some convincing for DH to want to adopt. I think he also needs to learn more about how kids are at this age if that makes sense? I see lots of kids through playgroups etc so know ours are not badly behaved but he seems to expect almost adult levels of restraint and logic from them...

If you can find a course, it would be helpful as I think some of the info has been easier for him to digest and start acting on when it has come from someone else.