back to work - evening routine?

[littlestrawby]

Hi all, I am due to go back to work start of Jan and am trying to think how our evenings will go on the days that I've been at work.

At a settling in session at nursery yesterday, the manager mentioned that the afternoon dinner is more of a sandwich picnic as they find most families like to go home and have a sit down meal with their baby as a family.

My question is...how?!! At absolute best I'll get home from work shortly after 6.30, and at that time DH will have just got back from picking up DD (12mo) from nursery. How do we find the time to make/eat dinner together (we wont even be hungry until later...), have a bit of down time with DD, have bath time, have DD asleep by 7.30? I imagine she'll be exhausted and so I don't want to keep her up much later than that.

How do you all time things on the evenings when you've been at work during the day? Will a slow cooker become my friend?!

I have older dc and a 1year old. The teenage dc are up later but the baby goes to bed at 7.15. Baby has a light tea with the childminder and we all have tea at around 6.30 ish. I did think that the baby would still be hungry and need tea with us after only having a light tea but he's not interested in eating and his sandwich seems to be enough for him. So he ends up just sitting in his high chair with us or wandering around the room while we eat. I remember worrying about how I would fit it I'm before I went back to work but it's all just worked itself out. You might find that after meals and snacks during the day dc isnt interested in a meal at tea time. Hope it all goes well op

Thanks everyone, appreciate the input. Sounds like everyone has worked out what works for them and their dc and I'll just need to take time to do the same. Think I'll do lots of batch cooking over the next few weeks :)

Family meal would be too much for us as a family, at that time after work / nursery. I used to pick dd up from childcare at 6pm. She had eaten some sandwich and veg sticks with them at about 4.30. Once home (6.30) I gave her really simple little hot meal - spaghetti hoops, egg and toast, heat up a little bit of soup, etc.. something that takes max.10 mins to heat. She would only ever have a few mouthfuls but I thought it was good to offer some warm food in the evening. Then, if awake still(!) bath at 7, story and bed for 7.45.

I’m a sahm so obviously it’s not quite what you’re asking, but my kids (3 and 1) eat dinner around 5ish and go to bed between 6.30 and 7. DH and I eat after they are in bed as he doesn’t get home from work until 6.30. I do like the idea of us all eating together, but it’s just not practical. It seems like many of my friends have a similar routine.

I’m also on my own with them in the afternoon so I can’t really “cook” a proper meal with them at my heels. Mostly they have things like leftovers or batch cooking of family meals like spaghetti bolognaise, or simple meals like pasta and pesto that I can make quickly, or things I can do in the oven like fish fingers. They are also happy with stuff like cooked chicken or sausages, which I’ve often cooked the day before. Frozen veg can be microwaved in a few minutes.

If we’re home really late or they’re completely exhausted then weetabix or porridge usually go down well just to get some food into them before bed.

Batch cooking for sure.

Also my 2 Dcs love omelets mid week, homemade soup (just reheated) and cheese toasties, macaroni cheese reheated. It's quick and homemade so not total junk.

Ooh, I also do banana bread at weekends, the kids will have that for dessert with a yog during the week if they're still hungry.

She might not need very much else to eat at all. My 18mo DD has been at nursery for 6 months. She's only needed an extra snack at home when she's not eaten the tea at 3.30: she usually just has a beaker of milk before her bath, which seems to be plenty for her. You might also find that she's very tired so not inclined to eat much. I honestly wouldn't put pressure on yourself to whip up a stellar dinner for the first few weeks while you all get used to the new routine. Also, you might find that she eats more at nursery due to sheer peer pressure, DD certainly does. Hope it all goes well.

Mine always had a combination of toast/fruit/yoghurt after nursery as they weren't really that hungry, and were very tired.

Make dinner the night before so it just needs reheating when you walk through the door.

The key here is “most families”.

Not your family though.
And wouldn’t for me either.

Sleep is priority at such a young age. Sitting down for family meals can be at weekends, and then during the week when older

I have a hungry baby post nursery as well, I batch cooking and freeze a bunch of toddler sized portions so I can give him something hot when he gets in.

I like the idea of eating as a family, and hopefully we can start doing that one day when he's a bit older. But he is asleep by 7- and I don't want to eat any earlier than that!

Will DD have a hot lunch at nursery - normally at about 11.30/12 and then the picnic tea you mention? If so, than that is the same as our nursery and I've never done another hot meal. We don't get back until after 6pm and my two are in bed by 7pm. I do extra toast, bananas, pancakes, veg sticks and humous, oaty bars etc. Plus a glass of milk (although one of mine never drinks the milk). We also make sure they have a good breakfast which tops them up from the day before/starts them off full.
DH and I have dinner after their bedtime.
I completely get the need to all sit down together for a meal, but this is only achievable on weekends in our house due to work commitments etc.
You will soon find your rhythm and it will all fall into place in a way that works for you and your family.
It's daunting, but before long it'll be routine for all of you.

It’s do-able. We’ve got a 4 year old, and two 1 year old twins. We both work, and get home after 6.

Sometimes we have the slow cooker on all day. Sometimes it’s just fish fingers or other oven food. Sometimes it’s - gasp - microwave food. What’s important is that the family eat together.

We still have time to bathe or shower all 3, and have the twins in bed by half 7. The older one gets an extra 30 mins.

It’s a mad dash, but it’s workable.

Hi, my 10 month old has always been such a good eater. He liked everything I gave him. I mainly make my own baby food however do buy the odd jar. Now he only likes sweet foods such as yoghurt, porridge, fruit etc.. if I give him anything savoury he gags and sometimes is sick. I make sure the food is not too lumpy and I have resorted into puréing the food completely. If he smells the savoury food he will not open his mouth and turn his head. Any advice on how I can get him to eat savoury food again? Thank you x

Thanks all. For those that have queried, yes she will be having a hot meal at lunch.

I think during the first few weeks I will have batch-made meals ready to offer her, alongside some snacks, and see what kind of thing she seems interested in having. I just don't see me and DH wanting to eat dinner at that time even if we did have anything ready, but I can sit down at the table with her and have a bit of what she's having so it feels like we're having some proper family time before bath and bed.

For us, i suspect having family meals after work will be something to work towards when she's a bit older. Obviously we can still do this on the weekends.

halfwitpicker can I nick your banana bread recipe please?! All the ones I've tried are either full of sugar or just don't work!

Archie not sure if you meant to post on this thread, you might find it useful to start a separate thread to get more responses. However could this be a phase your little one is going through - does he have a cold or teeth coming through perhaps? My DD sometimes goes through phases of refusing most foods apart from things such as fruit puree but it doesn't last long until she's back on board with her usual kind of menu. Have you tried offering finger foods instead rather than spoon feeding, that sometimes work for us?

I wouldn’t worry about it. My DS has exactly the same setup at nursery as you describe, he’s been there since he was 1 and is now 2 and a quarter. Nursery have never said that they expect the kids to have a sit down meal when they get home and it never occurred to me! We collect him at 6 and when we get home at 10 past we offer him toast or yoghurt or banana or a bit of bread and cheese etc and he sometimes refuses, sometimes snacks a little but it but is clearly not massively hungry. Nursery will tell you exactly how well he did or didn’t eat during the day. If he is ravenous I always have a few portions of Tilda Kids rice in the cupboard that will microwave in a minute or so.
We’ll have a chat and a play or maybe a couple of TV programmes. He goes up to bath at 7- he’s usually covered in paint or glitter or mud, signs of a good day at nursery! and I feel that after a day of pooey nappies a good dunk of the bum is in order too. Story and milk 7.30 to 7.45. At the moment he’s not settling too quickly but it’s definitely nothing to do with hunger. The parent not doing the pickup will have come home at some point between 7 and 7.30 and whoever is not doing bed and bath gets on with cooking our dinner. We eat at about 8.15 together. Works well for us. And I have 2 days a week off with him when I feed him exactly the same way that nursery do. At weekends we eat as a family.

You'll work out what works best for you. Personally I think juggling the evening routine when you first go back to work is akin to having a newborn. Seems impossible but with some practice and working out a few tricks you get the hang of it.

Batch cooking is your friend, as is the slow cooker. I haven't worked full time for over 2 years but when I did I used to meal plan at lunch time and batch cook at weekends. You'll do a mixture of batch cooking, slow cooker meals, convenience food and quick teas like pancakes/toast/porridge with fruit. It's really not that bad and honestly not eating a "proper" dinner will do not harm as they get most of their nutrients at nursery.

At the other end of the day, it’s really great when they go to nursery as they have breakfast there so one of you throws some clothes on the DC while the other gets themselves showered and dressed, then the one who is dressed takes them to nursery. No faffing about with baby breakfast mess.

Hi, I would be really grateful for some non judgemental advice.

My son is 4 and a half. He started school really well in September following a move into a new area. Five weeks ago his new baby sister arrived and although he is very caring, sweet and attentive at home, his teacher is experiencing very difficult, tantrum-like behaviour from him in school. He is being very physical with other children (pushing, hitting) and throws himself on the floor crying when he is told to do something he doesn't want to do. The main issue is that he is struggling to control his temper and lashes out.

His teacher is fantastic, very caring and understanding but his behaviour is obviously very disruptive to the other children. As such, she is putting in a referral to a senco for further support.

This behaviour isn't new to us, we had similar reports throughout his time at nursery. He can behave really well then it is like a switch has been pressed and he doesn't seem able to handle his feelings or listen. He doesn't like to be comforted when this happens. Clearly he has been through an awful lot recently bless him and he's struggling. I would like advice about how we can help him to calm down when he feels angry, to avoid him lashing out. We tell him to take a deep breath, take a step back etc and this works sometimes but otherness it's as if he has lost the ability to think clearly and can't do these things.

We do try to talk his feelings through when he calms down and we have bought books to help him name his feelings and learn other ways to express anger but he is still struggling.

Has anyone else experienced this or similar?

@Jmed83

Would it not make more sense to start your own thread?

Perhaps Jmed83 is new to the site. Tell us whether you are on phone or desktop @Jmed83 and we can explain how to start a new thread. You’ll get better responses that way.

Thank you, I am new to the site so apologies for any confusion. This was my first post. I am on my desktop

We always ate between 6.30&7 with ours as that's when dh got home, they were in bed for 7.45, story lights out at 8. But I didn't work full time and I left at 8.25 for nursery school. Jamie's 15 minute meals could be a handy Christmas present, batch cooking on weekends or slow cookers are a good idea.

www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/banana_bread/

Voilà.

I use black bananas and double the recipe, it freezes well.

We don't get in until nearly 7. Ds has a healthy snack while I heat up some food, and then we all have a dinner together. It's not impossible