Late walker

[ohxmasbaubles]

Having a tough time at the moment and hoping to just let off some steam here.

I have an 18 month old who is not yet walking unaided. All her peers at groups etc have been walking for about 6 months and I feel like such a rubbish mum, and that it must be my fault she's so late. Simple things like going to the park are not as easy (especially in this weather) as I have to take her to the swings etc as she still really tries to crawl if she can (I suppose it's easier and quicker for her).

Also add into the mix a 4 month old, and I'm really struggling to get out and go to the park or go to baby groups as most don't allow buggies in, and I can't physically carry them both in (dd is not yet confident enough to just hold one hand while I hold baby).

I feel so depressed. I feel like a crap mum and that I shouldn't have had them so close together. Most of the time we do indoor things as even going to the shops is such a mission I only go with them both on my own if I really have to. It is slightly easier now compared to when dc2 was newborn and feeding constantly. And I do at least get better sleep now than a couple of months ago. But I suppose survival mode was in full swing back then, whereas now I am aware I should be doing more and I'm not.
I can't even afford for dd1 to go to nursery once a week, even though I'm sure it would do her wonders to get away from me for a bit and have a day with others.

Please tell me they're not going to grow up deprived and mentally scarred?

You seem to be going through a really tough time OP, been there and got the T-Shirt!

If it's any consolation, my first DD didn't crawl until she was 13 months and she didn't walk until a week before her second birthday. She's now a very active, happy 5 year old who can outrun me

Are there any other groups you can go to that do allow prams? I wouldn't even consider a group that didn't allow prams, I don't drive and have a lot of stuff to lug around so a pram is essential for me.

Also, I know you said you should be doing more, but no one will judge you for not being Super Mum who goes to every group and constantly keeps their child occupied with arts and crafts or baking. With 2 so young you are allowed to stay at home and have some down time

My youngest didn't walk til 18 months - she got there eventually

Most adults can walk and you'd have no idea when that happened - chill out

Kids walk when they walk, generally speaking. Speak to the HV if you're concerned.
Are you not terribly bored never getting out? If you got a second hand sling for the baby you would have free hands for the older one at baby groups. If it's only for very short time frames you don't need to.shell out for the good ergonomic ones.

Bit harsh people telling you to chill out! Sounds like a very tricky situation.
I second researching some groups that allow prams or failing that a soft play? Then your 18mo can crawl to her hearts content!
A sling would be handy as well for littlest one x

My dd1 didn't walk unaided until 20 months. At 18 months I took her to the gp who advised speaking to a private children's physio.

They did a free consultation and advised loose ligaments in one hip. But no treatment needed. Just needed to strengthen. One day she just walked. And no different to any other toddler now.

Just get your dc walking holding hands and cruising as much as possible. They all walk in their own time.

Try not to worry

Oh bless you not walking at 18 months is nothing to be worried about as long as he's moving somehow! With 2 little ones I'd get a sling for the baby so you can get out and about for your own well-being if nothing else!

Don't stress too much! Babies needs lots and lots of crawling to strengthen their body to be able to walk. Once her trunk and legs are strong enough she will begin to walk. What you can do to help her is allow her to crawl as much as she can, climb, and explore with you interfering as little as possible! With the little one, if you want to give him an early start, give him lots and lots of tummy time. It can be for a few minutes or a few seconds a few times a day depending on how comfortable your baby is. Any chance you get, try and give him as much tummy time as possible but stop once he begins to get upset.This will strengthen baby's whole body to prepare him/her for crawling and eventually walking. Tummy time and crawling are very important. You can look it up online and read all about it! I started tummy time with my son a few days after birth, he began crawling at 7 months and walking at 11 months. I allowed him to crawl literally everywhere. Also it's important she doesn't use a walker or you don't her her walk. She needs to learn to balance herself. Walkers delay walking by a few weeks because it gives the baby a false sense of balance. Therefor when they don't have the walker they don't know what to do and they fall.

My LB was 19 months so I feel your pain about parks etc and now I have DC2 I can’t imagine how I would cope with two if DC 1 wasn’t walking before DC2 arrived. You are doing amazing ... hang in there.

The point of my post was just to say my late Walker is now 3.5 and the same as his peers. He is however much more prone to colouring, play doh etc. Try not to worry, and meantime embrace things you can do with no pressure to do what you think you should do. I thought I should have a ‘wild’ child running around ‘into everything’ but I had this amazing little lad who loves meticulous, sitting, building, creative activity - embrace! Xx