DH input - how much?

[majormumma]

How do you avoid having disagreements without DH in relation to parenting? Of course it’s natural to discuss and disagree on certain things but sometimes my DH makes me feel a little inadequate unintentionally. For example, how many layers baby is wearing has been a source of disagreements as has weaning, how often his clothes are changed and even giving DS Calpol for his teething!! He worries a lot which in turn makes me worry so I wanted to know how you Manoeuvre parenting as stress free as possible

Disagreements with DH (correction )

We don’t actually disagree on much, but if I do feel strongly about something I’ve usually researched it a bit so can show him what I’ve read.

Thanks creatureofthenight, I do that, but it doesn’t seem to help especially in the case of BLW weaning
Another example was a warm summers evening, DH insisted on wrapping DS up in far too many layers in the car, I disagreed and was so worried about DS overheating and we ended up arguing about it! So it’s hard to get evidence with things like that

50% of the effort, 50% of the decision making.

His input is probably down to overprotectiveness?
We did blw after I researched it - tell him to do some research.
Also no jackets for the car - google why and that should be enough.

He is such a brilliant dad, he is also very overprotective. I know I’m lucky that he gives a shit but sometimes it feels like I’m hitting my head on a brick wall! Especially when I feel that I do thorough research before making decisions re parenting

My DH and me tend to agree on most things. I always say he should tell me if he has concerns or a difference of opinion on anything so we can discuss it.
Most things can be researched but I understand how it can be hard what it take as gospel on line.

You should never have a coat on a child in a car seat, but if he still insists on having layers on the baby you should advise him of the correct temp a baby should be kept at.

I can't ever see arguing over the amount of changes of clothes, what is his issue over that ?
What is his reasoning for not wanting to do BLW? Has he seen research and looked into it

It must be hard if you see things differently, there are obvious safety rules that must be followed, but the rest to a certain degree is choice and if after a discussion with both sides explaining their point and you still not agreeing I not quite sure where you go from there.

Thanks bourbonbiccy - it wasn’t a coat just lots of layers, I’m aware of the no coat rule but appreciate the reminder

So for example DS having a bath and put in clean clothes, and then keeping the same clean vest on for the rest of the day (wouldn’t work now with weaning though!) I didn’t see it as an issue but DH came down quite hard and said it’s dirty and that we’d never sleep in a vest and then wear it in the day? I don’t know - maybe I’m in the wrong with that one!!

DH sister chocked on a grape and so I know why he’s apprehensive about BLW but I’ve been to all the talks etc and passionate about feeding him that way, DH keeps wanting to fish food out of his mouth if it’s in their too long!!

I don’t want to slate him too much, he really is great don’t get me wrong we just disagree on things!!

Re feeding DS has porridge which he is spoon fed and I’m not totally against spoon feeding where necessary so that’s the compromise on my part lol

majormumma I must admit I do get my DS completely changed out of his bedtime clothes 1st thing for the morning play, but the main reason is so my hubby has everything laid out when doing "teeth and bum" ready for bedtime lol but I wouldn't see it as a problem keeping it on if clean.

It sounds like you are doing a good compromise with the porridge to help him have his input recognised. Yeah it can be quite hairy at times with BLW but as you say, you have done all the courses. Did it involve what to do if baby chokes, if not maybe do that or a 1st aid course, maybe this would help ease him slightly.

He sounds like a loving father as you say but by gosh this parenting malarkey has a lot to contend with. 😟😟

My DH is a worrier too, we often struggled to agree in the early days but we tried to calmly talk through why we felt strongly about certain options and shared research. I thought carefully about which things really mattered to me and which I could leave to him to lead.

DH definitely got more relaxed about BLW after a month or so of successful eating and a only a few gagging incidents. How far into it are you? I agree about string him to do a first aid course. He may feel more prepared in case anything happens then.