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Original poster

Son's cardiac arresst

14 replies

Courtneybrown · 05/12/2018 21:53

Im just really looking for someone elses opinion my son who has just turned one suffered a cardiac arrest at 12 days old ...

it took him months to get better icu etc he's still suffering some ill affects breathing is rattiling still he looks constantly pale which worries me i wont let him out my sight ...

he's such a beautiful boy my third boy and im pregnant with a girl however im scared ... as i wont put him in his own room out of fear something will happen to him i have anxiety attacks on his birthday as it was trumatic for us both and anxiety attacks yesterday as it was a year ago yesterday the cardiac arrest happened.

I wake at any little noise he makes he however is not fazed and is so independent but a cuddly little boy.

I don't think im ever going to feel secure to put him in his own room as after 8 hours of resus and almost loosing him has scared the shit out of me but my health visitor thinks its time i transition him .

OP posts:
PostmanBos · 05/12/2018 21:55

How old is your son and how is his health now?

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 05/12/2018 21:59

He has just turned one, still a baby. In some cultures children co-sleep for years. I would try to be led by him, if he wants to sleep alone then let him. I would also see if you can get EMDR to help process the trauma that you experienced.

PostmanBos · 05/12/2018 22:02

Ok I have engaged brain and I see he is just over 1 and still suffering some minor symptoms. I think it won't hurt him to sleep in your room a while longer, but you need to get some help dealing with your anxiety. Its not going to be good for him if you have anxiety problems and maybe limit what he does unnecessarily.

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Super123 · 05/12/2018 22:05

Follow your instincts.
You're his Mum and you don't feel right about him being on his own, so don't be pushed into it.
When he's older and stronger you'll probably feel different.
I second looking into EMDR to process the trauma you went through.

Jent13c · 05/12/2018 22:06

I sleep with my almost 2 year old and can see me doing it for a long time. I sleep in his room though (so I still have my own space). If you are not ready to transition him then don't! If it works for your family then I dont see an issue with it (as long as new baby and DS aren't in the same bed which is high risk co sleeping). Last night I went I to my bed at 11pm and my son had soaked through his nappy and fallen back asleep. If I hadn't been going in beside him he would have been lying wet all night.

I cant imagine what you've been through, its every parents worst fear. I hope you are getting some support/counselling offered to talk through your panic attacks. Absolutely understand why you want to keep him close

Petalflowers · 05/12/2018 22:06

You are bound to feel cautious after everything you have gone through, post traumatic stress.

My son was very poorly aged three. I remember being nervous coming home and being nervous because imwouldn’t Have a doctor or nurse oncall, in case I needed them.

Sixteen years on, he’s a strapping six footer and has moved away from home.

However, the few days before when it all happened, I always find myself feeling a little blue, remembering what had happened.

Time is a great healer. You will begin to trust yourself and to trust him. You will never forget what’s happened, but as he grows, you will creat new happier memories, to replace the old.

Have a lovely Christmas this year. I’m sure it will be very special,for you.

Petalflowers · 05/12/2018 22:07

That should read, the few days before the anniversary of when it happened, ...

duckthisshit · 05/12/2018 22:12

Do it in your own time when you feel ready. It was such a traumatic experience for you and will take time to get over but slowly you will. I felt like that about my son, he's got a health condition that could at some point turn life threatening and was operated on when he was days old. For over a year afterwards I wouldn't let him out of my sight, woke at the slightest noise, would get anxiety just at the thought of leaving him but as he's got older and stronger I found that I've relaxed a little. Don't let anyone tell you when you should be ready.

TheLastMermaid · 05/12/2018 22:15

Don't be pressured by the hv. It doesn't sound as though she gets what life is like for you. I agree that at some point it will help for you to look at the impact that trauma has had on you too and how you find a way to let go of that intensity of terror, but that's a separate issue right now - you'll know when you're ready to get help with it or can't leave it any more.

Right now, I'd keep him with me if that's what feels right for you. Take care, be kind to yourself x

Original poster
Courtneybrown · 05/12/2018 23:26

Thank you everyone for making me feel a bit better im not suffocating him or wrapping him in bubble wrap to the extent he doesn't do anything he is such a independent little boy i just feel on edge at the sheer thought of him in his own room.

He doesn't co sleep he is in a cot right at the side of my bed.

I thought i was getting over the incident but clearly not as the anxiety attacks kicked in i coped remarkably well with them not to ruin his birthday but its just that dread.

My older children both have health problems my middle son going through ops every 6 month from he was 4 month old luckily the last one seems to have worked but it didn't come as a shock as i knew it was coming with this i had no control.

Health visitor is saying he is well advanced for age consultant said so far no signs of any permanent brain damage as it took 45 mins for fast response to come but we took turn of resuscitating him but his breathing is still a bit poor as is circulation as he took pneumonia which triggered the cardiac arrest.

I honestly hold my breath for any parent with a ill child you all are so brave for your children and they will thank you for it ... i just really wanted to know i wasn't over reacting by not putting him in his own room and really to ask if it gets easier where i will not feel so on edge with how his skin looks etc xxx

OP posts:
TheLastMermaid · 08/12/2018 11:13

I know the thread's a few days old now but just wanted to confirm you're not overreacting at all.I hope you're doing ok. X

Original poster
Courtneybrown · 08/12/2018 11:53

Thank you very much I'm just hoping it eases of as he gets a bit older i still panic thinking his lips look blue :( xx

OP posts:
RollerJed · 08/12/2018 11:56

Oh OP Flowers

My dd2 is 3, nothing traumatic has happened, but she still sleeps with me and I bloody love it

Don't be pushed by anyone, of course your nervous, who wouldn't be.

Original poster
Courtneybrown · 08/12/2018 12:59

I just felt like health visitor thought i was holding him back by keeping him in with me even though she said herself he is well advanced i just felt guilty like i was doing something wrong but my minds going into overdrive of everything that could happen if he was in his own room x

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