DD really struggles with change and gets very anxious. Her anxiety comes out as being grumpy (I hate everything/ you're the worst/ saying she hates us/ everything is unfair/ telling lies to get her sister or people at school in trouble)
At the minute I'm unwell and I will be for at least another month. I have an op next week which means I won't be at home for her birthday.
Her behaviour is awful just now and I really struggle to deal with her. ATM when she starts being nasty/ tantrumming we tell her we love her and that she's got into a bad habit of saying unkind things/ pretending to cry and that it's not acceptable. We give her a hug and she goes to her room for 10 minutes. This generally calms her down and ends the tantrums. Unfortunately it doesn't change the unkind things she says, the way she treats us or the way she treats her sister. She does a lot of attention seeking which is why we do the bedroom thing. When she comes back and behaves how she should she gets attention/ play games etc.
I'm having a hysterectomy next week and her screaming and shouting and being nasty literally makes my symptoms worse because of the stress.
Tonight it was because I picked them up from after school club in the car because I couldn't walk there (4 days since last op) I wanted them home with me and now I wish I'd left her there for DH to pick up on his way home.
I think she's mostly a bit of a drama queen but with everything being strange just now she's taking it too far. She always pushes people away (eg if we've been on holiday and DH goes back to work after she'll be moody with him for a week for going back to work).
We want to support her and show her we love her regardless of her behaviour but I really don't want her to grow up being selfish/brattish. Has anyone been through similar and come out the other side?
What strategies have you used that have worked?