Me and my ex, who get on well and have been split for nearly 2 years have faced problems with boys in few months.
My eldest, 13 self harmed last month, trigger was a girl who he was fond of who does it, he seems to have turned real corner these last couple weeks.
My 5 year old has always been daddies boy however only a little while back he was asking stay longer with me, we split care 50/50. I gently told him daddies expecting him and he has so much fun with him and off he went.
Last weekend he said he wants to just be here when my partners boys are, every other weekend. It broke me, after the last couple months, but he comes first and that's what he wants so it's happening.
I saw him briefly yesterday when my eldest came back home, he ran in dropped his brothers stuff shouted bye and ran off, he hadn't seen me in a week.
I don't know what else I can do, my ex doesn't get him to call me or anything, he hasn't spoken to him like he said he would, just asked him if he wants to go to mummies.
I have rules, which my ex doesn't, but I also do the bedtime stories, sing him the same song I always have, do his homework with him (my ex gets our childminder to), make things with him to help him grow creatively - I don't know what else to do.
My eldest seems really happy, the age gap shows so much now and he enjoys time without his 'annoying' brother but it feels so wrong then not being under the same roof.
I felt like I lost my eldest with the self harm, which is always still a worry and concern, and now I have lost my youngest.
Anyone got any suggestions here, I don't want to make him come as he will resent me for it and make things even more fractured.
I am lost, feel like I am drowning, every day I see to just go through the motions, painting a smile on and fighting off the crying and trying to sealing past that awful anxious hurting feeling.