2 year old - form of separation anxiety?

[PuffedupPufferFish]

My 2 year old (turned two 3 months ago) has started to get very nervous and clingy when out and about in busy, public places - soft play, parties, even the playgroups she has attended most weeks since she was tiny. She has always loved these places - she might be shy for a few minutes but then she would potter off happily. But now she just wants to spend the whole time playing but sat on my lap, and if I even go to grab a cup of tea she gets upset and says she wants to go home.

I wandered if it was a form of separation anxiety as I have heard they can go through this again about 2. But she goes to nursery 3 times a week and they have noticed no difference, and there are no tears at drop off. She is also quite happy waking up in the night alone - no crying or anything there. So it doesn't seem like classic separation anxiety. Weirdly she is also starting to get much more confident with friends/family she doesn't see very often, as long as we are in a quiet home environment.

Anyone else had this? Anything to worry about, or just another one of the endless strange small people phases? And what is the best way to deal with it? I certainly don't want to stop taking her to these places as she has always got so much out of it!

Hi PuffedupPufferFish, I don’t normally post but could practically have written your post word for word! Afraid I don’t have any advice but I can totally sympathise as we’re very much in the same boat and I’m watching with interest for any responses!!

Unfortunately we don't seem to be having much in the way of the response! How old is your DD/DS?

DD is coming up to three and has been like it her whole life. She gets upset if I leave the room even if I tell her I'm getting a glass of water or something else quick and wants to be hugged and carried around when we're out. If I leave her when she's asleep she wakes up and napped on me until she was two - my back and knees are wrecked!!

She just strolls into nursery without a backwards glance!! I have to grab her to kiss her goodbye. Soft play and activities are a bit hit and miss but we go to them less because it's so difficult to get ready to go out so they're the ones I skip now.

I cook while she cries and inbetween cuddling because we would live off rubbish otherwise and house keeping standards have dropped considerably.

I tell myself that she will become independent in a few years and my health will improve then and I can clean the house!!

I know, doesn’t seem to be a particularly hot topic my little one is coming up 2. As you describe she’s been much worse at groups we’ve been to for a long time but conversely more confident with adults she doesn’t know very well. I’ve beeb particularly concerned that her anxiety seems to be when she’s around other children but I guess they’re still very young. HappyPunky it’s good to know I’m not the only one who struggles to cook/clean without tears or tantrums!

When I was a kid I experienced that but now I am old the level of maturity increases as old as our age.

Mine went through that at about the same age. It didn't last so don't worry.

Thank you Jessstan2!

I struggle as well with cooking and cleaning without tears, but I don't think that's seperation anxiety as she's fine at home - I think it's more indignation I would want to do something that doesn't involve her!

I worried it was nervousness around other children as well Bambini83 as some of the toddlers at one of our playgroups are particularly boisterous, and she is not so much! But it's never bothered her before - she's just avoided them when they are doing stuff she finds too boisterous. Also, we went to a very busy Christmas event last week that was mostly adults and she was still very anxious. So I don't know!

Yeah I would agree PuffedupPufferFish, think a lot of the upset around meal making etc is more wanting attention than separation anxiety in itself...my little one seems to dislike noisy crowded environments in general but I just found it odd that recently she’s been nervous and clingy in environments she is well used to such as groups we’ve been to for a long time. I suspect she struggles with the unpredictability of other children at times though like you we don’t have any upset at nursery drop off. It’s good to hear it’s hopefully just a phase jessstan2!