Bf baby difficult to settle at bedtime

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My lo is 13 weeks and exclusively breastfed. Shows signs off wanting bedtime around 7-8pm.
I feed, lo falls asleep but if I move baby wakes so I cant put down. Can snooze 15-30 (usually woken by my wanting to put down) and then cries looking for breast, feeds again and falls straight back to sleep again doesn't stay awake or open eyes.
This goes on until anywhere usually between 10-11pm then sleeps for around 3hrs. By this time I'm goin to bed before the night wakes start.
I'd love to be able to put baby down in the evening. (don't mean out the room) just so I can have a hour without holding baby, to tidy up, do dishes or heaven forbid go to the toilet without baby screaming the place down. I also really love to actually spend time with my dh. I'm getting increasingly frustrated by the constant waking when I put down.

When does this stage end, when should I expect to be able to lay baby down in evenings and have a break.

How can I encourage it now.. I have a 1yo too and as soon as he is on bed I sit holding or feeding baby then go to sleep myself. Im feeling low and lonely at times.

If you want some time to yourself, try sending DH out with her for a walk or drive. That used to make my LO zonk out for an hour or two.

Will she settle if you pass her to DH? If she’s in the Moses basket, try using a tshirt that DH has worn as the sheet, the smell of him should be reassuring.

White noise and swaddling may help too

Sounds like my little boy who used to cluster feed terribly between 8 and 11, would fall asleep and as soon as i put him down he would wake up wanting more milk. It went on for a couple of weeks then he settled down and would start sleeping from 8!

@Emma9876 when did it end with your lo, we've been at it for weeks and I'm on my knees with it.

@JiltedJohnsJulie my dh is usually working nightshift but when he is here he does take lo but never for long until the crying gets too much and baby is fed again.
We use white noise and still swaddled, tried my top and dh's but not a jot of difference, lo wooed instantly and then cries to be fed. Took til after midnight to put down last then ended up held between 2.20-6.30am.

Mine also wakes as soon as I try Tom put him down / transfer him :( he’s such a light sleeper, the slightest movement or noise wakes him. It’s so frustrating.

I would say with both of mine it got easier around 3-4 months. Do you have a partner? Could they be doing all those things so you can just focus on baby in the evening? Or take baby for a bit to give you a break? My dh used to wear ours in a sling for several hours each evening. It meant at least an hour or two of walking around the house, but it gave me about 3-4 hours of peace to shower and sleep and then we’d switch around midnight and I’d take over again.

*try not Tom!

Id have said probably 4 months. Definetly by 6 months i used to feed him and he would be settled in his cot by 8pm. I just used to get comfy with drinks/snacks/tv/phone and accept that i wasnt going to move for a while. I used to stress about getting him in bed but just decided to accept it!

Thanks everyone for your comments. My dh works most nights so I'm home alone, guess that's why I've been struggling as I need to sort house for next morning, deal with 1yo if struggling to settle all while not being able to put baby down. Then on the times dh is here I guess I'd like to spend a few hours with him.
Just ride with it a while longer I guess. Had hoped it'd be so much better by 3months but its getting worse. A few weeks ago lo would be in bed sleep for around 9pm and have a good stretch.

Will baby settle in a sling while you see to DC1 and sort the house put?

I found that if I gave DC2 a good feed using lots of breast compressions, she’d sleep in the sling for an hour or two after whilst I was busy.

The nights that DH is home I think he needs to take LO out for a drive or walk if he wants a bit of time with you without you holding LO