Advice needed on bedtime

[mummyp33]

Hi all, I'm a first time mum and have a beautiful 10 week old baby girl. For the past two weeks we have been instilling bedtime routine, starting with bath at 7.15, feed and in bed by 8.30. However I've noticed my baby girl gets incredibly overtired and upset from 5.30/6 onwards, she naps well in the day and has 2-3 naps, my OH works very long hours and is out the house from 6 and back at 7 or even later sometimes. OH always does bath time. But when he comes in he obviously and quite rightly wants play time too which means bath time slips by 20/30 minutes by the end of it and getting her dressed LO is hysterical. Last night OH rocked LO to sleep in his arms after dressing her, she was so shattered she fell asleep straight away, so no bedtime feed. He wanted to do the same tonight but I said no as LO's bedtime feed is always the longest and she gets the most from it, she does however feed before bath time and regularly through the day so I'm not worried about her starving. She's gaining really well. I think that she may need to go to bed a bit earlier but then OH won't get to bath her and have time with her, but if we stick to what we are doing she just gets overtired and upset by the time it's bedtime, how do I approach it with OH without upsetting him?.. I have been doing a dream feed around 11pm so was going to suggest he could do that with express milk bottle but I know he loves his play time with her before bath time. I think LO would rather go to bed at 7.30 rather than 8.30 but I don't want to take anything away from OH. What would you do?

Is there a reason that you’re trying to instill a routinecat 10 Weeks?

Why don’t you vary baths to every other day so one day he comes in and has play time then bed and the next day he does bath then bed?
She will vary things a bit as she gets bigger.

10 weeks is a little early for a routine, it really is best to just go with baby's flow. Her body clock is still adjusting and her own rhythm and routine will fall naturally into place over the next few months.

If she is hysterical, I agree with you that it would suggest she needs an earlier bedtime at the moment. I do understand where you (and your OH) are coming front and he of course wants to spend time with her but surely not at the detriment to her mood? It is a shame that he can't spent much time with her in the evenings at the moment but he has the weekends and perhaps any early mornings?

She doesn't need a bath every night (unless she is really sicky?) so why not switch up the bath to every second or third night so he can spend more time cuddling/reading/playing before bedtime?

10 weeks is very early for a routine.
She still needs to be with you till she is 6 months. Is she alone in the evenings?

I disagree that it's too early. We naturally fell into a routine really quickly, by around 5/6 weeks! And moved the bedtime earlier and earlier as we needed. Our routine has never been exact but if she's getting tired I will start the bed routine as early as we need. And if she's fine I'll put it off a little in the hope she'll sleep later! My OH works later shifts every other week so he doesn't get to do the bath/bed routine on those weeks, however he does get to see her before work on those days.

I imagine it's pretty rubbish for your OH working such long hours... I understand why he would want to see her! But you are going to just have to do what works well for your baby.

Oh and sometimes she wakes up at like 10:30 so my OH goes and rocks her back to sleep which is a nice break for me and my boobs 😂

We started a routine at 8 weeks with a 7pm bedtime (I cluster feed her from 5ish to 6.30), its been a game changer having our nights to ourselves. I would definitely get your OH to do the dream feed if she will take a bottle, also he gets bath time on the weekends.

She has a bath every other day, can see how much joy it brings OH. This evening he got in from a 13 hour day and came straight up to give her a bath. Our health visitor suggested a routine starting as she was going to bed at 11pm when I was and was becoming hysterical during feeds etc, we'd just have her downstairs with us in the Moses basket until I went up. OH is still sleeping on the sofa at the moment as he can't be sleep deprived as his line of work is being responsible for people's lives. OH gets up at 5.30 when LO is still sleeping she doesn't wake for a feed until around 6.30, feel really bad keeping her awake after 5 when she wanted to sleep but also felt bad knowing OH loves bath time and that's his thing with her. He's rarely home before 7pm most nights. He also works Saturday's. I take a bit of a step back on Sunday's as that's his only full day at home with us. I agree I need to do what's right for baby at the moment. Has anyone ever let their LO nap close to bedtime and LO has still been OK for their normal bedtime?

At this age I'd be letting her sleep at 5 or 6, or really when ever she needs to. If she wakes up in the evening he can see her then. I can understand her dad wants to see her, but really her needs come first.

I used to bath my two in the day rather than at bedtime at this age.