Regular work travel after maternity leave

[Enidthecat]

I travel regularly for work, it's an essential part of the job. Not long trips, just a night or two every few weeks within UK.

I'm expecting my 2nd baby (DS is 3.5 and copes fine with my being away as he has live-in grandma plus my husband caring for him, he's a very happy and secure little boy).

I took 10 months mat leave with my son but my job at that time had less travel, just one trip a month for one night maximum and we coped fine with that, leaving expressed milk for my husband to feed and pumping whilst I was away. I didn't go away for first time until he was about 11 months.

This time I can't afford to take longer than 9-10 months again, but would be returning to my job where I'd be expected to travel regularly, usually every couple of weeks 1-2 nights. I'm feeling very anxious about leaving my baby when so young still. My boss has reassured me they will be as flexible as possible whilst baby is young, that I can even bring baby if needed (my dh can potentially travel with me) and that they will try to limit time I'm away whilst baby is young. But the nature of the job is that I need to do this travel.

My mum lives with us so I've no concern that baby will be lovingly cared for whilst I'm away, she's wonderful with children and I'm very lucky to have her.

But I was there so much for my son in his first year, his primary caregiver, and I'm feeling so awful and anxious that potentially my new baby will be left for so long and so regularly at only 9-10 months old :(. I bf my son until 18 months and want to try to keep bf as long as possible this time. I feel somehow like I'm failing this new baby.

Am I being daft and does anyone have positive experiences of travel after returning from maternity they could share with me please?

I don't want any judgment please, I'm a great mum and put my children first. I'm the main earner and we need my salary to be able to afford to live.

I don't know as I've never really had to do overnight stays. I would however say it's a long way away and you might actually relish a night on your own.

I didn't leave mine and breastfed till they were 12m. My pregnant friend asked me for a night away when her baby would be 3 months old. I honestly thought she was being naive and we would never go. Her baby stayed with his DF and a stock of expressed milk and was absolutely fine. She just carried on feeding as normal when she got back after a full night's sleep. Maybe introduce a bottle fairly early on. Mine were both bottle refuses but to be honest I didn't persevere too hard as it didn't really matter if they didn't take one.

For what it's worth, I had 13 months off with DS1 and sobbed about coming back to work. I skipped out the door to my hot coffee second time round. Just try and go with the flow and cross the bridge when you come to it.

I would stop beating yourself up about this. Your second dc will have roughly the same amount of time with you on mat leave as first ds did. And it really isn't that much time away, 1-2 nights every few weeks. Second dc do have to fit into existing family routine and live, and often seem to quire easily.
Your work sound really helpful and your children have two parents, and a full night's sleep every few weeks will be something to look forward to.
Its honestly much easier second time around.

You are right of course, it's such a long way away. I just started thinking about it because my boss is starting to put together my maternity cover advert and so we were talking about it and about support when I come back. It was playing on my mind a bit.