Hi, i have two daughters. The eldest is 5 and her dad and I are divorced. He left when she was 5 months old and it has been horrendous trying to parent with him. I worry all of the time. She sees him a lot and im doing my best with it. I just feel heartbroken all of the time. I never feel i've given her enough of the precious little time i feel we have. If i am stern with her im crippled with guilt. I miss her all the time. All the time. Im in bits every single time she goes away and just dont seem to be getting used to it. After 4 years as well. I play even small things like how ive asked her to do something over and over again. My youngest daughter is so easy to love. It never hurts. I adore her as well but i never question my parenting with her. Theyre both happy children and i think im doing ok at hiding all of this from them. I just feel terrible for having 2 completely different relationships with them. I look at my baby and smile and i look at my big girl and have a permanent lump in my throat. Has anyone else in a separated family had this and got used to it? Ihad hoped it would get easier by now and im tired of feeling so sad . Thank you xx