Morning routine help!

[AprilSpring]

Long long time lurker, v v occasional poster first thread starter here!

Arghhh I’ve had another stressful morning getting ready for school. Will try and make the next bit succinct but fear it may become a bit of a brain dump. Essentially, please can you give me your top tips for a smooth morning before I pull my hair out.

Bit of context, DD1 started school in September she’s settled in great and appears to be thriving, all good! She’s an August baby if that matters. DD2 is 8 months old in the midst of sleep regression / teething / being a baby, I’m not getting more than an hour and half a sleep in a block at the moment so this could well be influencing how I feel. Dd1 is going through a jealous phase and can be over physical with dd2.

I hate that I’m turning into shouty mum in order for Dd1 to get dressed, brush teeth do hair etc in the morning. I try to get myself and dd2 ready as quickly as possible so I can focus on dd1. She is currently flat out refusing to do any part of the getting ready process independently. I have to persuade / bribe / threaten to take her to school half naked her at every step and it’s becoming so so draining.
Things I’ve tried - making the whole thing a race, laying everything out for her to do, me doing all of it, letting her watch tv while I do it, star charts.

I feel like we are starting the day stressed. I go back to work in the new year, am currently on mat leave, we will need to leave the house an hour earlier to get to the childminders and I just can’t see how I’m going to do it!
Help me wise mumsnet!
Thanks

Watching as in the exact same situation only my older child is in year one & not an august baby!

With us it's very much her asserting herself. It's constantly "sister doesn't have to get herself dressed" She's a baby! "sister doesn't have to clean her teeth" She hasn't got any! I too don't want to be shouty mummy.

What we did start on Tuesday (after the worst morning ever on Monday) is making her get dressed in her room before she comes downstairs. She's generally more amiable when she's just woken and hasn't been distracted by a toy or started colouring/drawing. It's worked the past 2 days.

Good luck!

Hi mammmoo
It’s reassuring to hear I’m not the only one. I think the asserting herself thing is part of it at the moment. But if I’m honest she’s never been good at getting ready! She’s certainly craving one on one time with me, which is almost impossible to give at the moment unfortunately. I try to do more ‘grown up’ activities when she gets home from school, like baking or other things that dd2 can’t do. That’s probably a whole different thread though!
Will try the getting dressed before breakfast thing tomorrow.

Don’t make any threats you won’t follow through on. If you say to her if she doesn’t hurry up, she wont have time to brush her hair, then make her go to school with ugly hair. Don’t tell her she’ll go to school almost naked because you won’t follow through on that.

She’s obviously looking for all the attention so I wouldn’t give it to her. If she won’t get dressed, or brush her teeth or whatever she’s asked to do, then you do it for her but don’t engage her, don’t speak to her, just do what she was asked to do. I would speak more to the baby, “aren’t you a good baby, being quiet while I have to dress sister”. If she does something herself, praise her and tell her how good she is.

Also have an eight month old and 5 year old- nearly 6

Mine is well able to get dressed teeth etc on her own so no problems there but have an awful time with distraction in the morning!
Anything will distract her and it drives me mad! I always say oh you won't have time to finish your breakfast etc but never followed through but last week she went to school after only eating half a bowl of Rice Krispies so since then she's been a bit better.
I say to her that the quicker she gets ready , the more time she will have to draw before she goes to school.
Some days this works and she has about 20 mins to draw.
Other days I promise my self a large gin in the evening.
Only another few weeks before term ends for Christmas!

My mornings go reasonably smoothly. My eldest is in pre school though (nearly 4) so it's still an early start but I'm aware things could change.

I also have a two year old and tbh I just dress them at the same time. I encourage the eldest to be more independent so there's some bits she will do and bits I will do.

Secondly if the pace is a bit slow I just say something like "gosh I hope we're not late as they'll shut the doors and we'll have to wait in the cold and they might be a bit cross...". Seems to work so far and I'm rarely rushing out the door.

I think our kids are about the same age, but dd is a June baby. We made a tick list for her to tick off as she does them. 1. Have a wee 2. Eat breakfast 3. Brush teeth 4. Get clothes on 5. Brush hair 6. Shoes and coat on. I wake her at 7.30 and leave the house and 8.40. I put my clothes out ready the night before in babies room. Once baby is up at 6 I go into his room and get myself ready, bring him downstairs strip him and get him ready for the day, give him a bottle before waking dd. Dd has until paw patrol is finished (I just put Channel 5 on) to eat her breakfast then we do the rest of her list. I have some toys in corner of her room to occupy baby with while I sort dd.

How amenable is the baby to being put down? When dd3 was little we had a system where if dd1+2 got themselves ready while i got me and baby dressed then we would have a story and a cuddle. It actually halved the morning routine as they loved the attention so got ready super quick. Dd3 was a very laid back baby tho who was happy to be left on her playmat for 10 mins

I'm having v similar trouble with dd reception age. I'm trying to be a bit more hands off, getting on with getting dd2 ready rather than repeatedly hassling and definitely follow through on not having time to finish breakfast.

and making a big deal of fun time to play it we have time after everything is done.

it's truly a nightmare though

Thanks all for your input. Overall I think it reinforces things that I’m doing already. Ignoring the bad behaviour, praising the good- I guess I need to keep this mantra in my mind to avoid shouting. I’m trying to keeping her on task when by saying she’ll have more time to play/colour etc or by saying ‘oh dear what will Mrs teacher think when we arrive after the bell’
But like GiveMeAllTheGin I mainly reward myself with alcohol! Although not preschool run - yet!

I have a 5 year old in reception, a 4 year old in nursery and a 6 month old.

Older two get dressed in bedroom, then they can have breakfast, then teeth then telly. The order does not vary.

Had a chat this evening with Dd1 we’ve agreed that we are going to not go downstairs until we are dressed just like mummy and daddy do. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I’ll report back!

Hindsight’s a wonderful thing, you’ve all got me reflecting on my behaviour in the mornings too. Fortunately dd2 is a v happy soul and happy enough to be put down. I think I’ve been giving dd1 oo many options, asking ‘what are we going to do first, hair or teeth?’ Do task, ‘Ok what next teeth or clothes?’ I need to pick an order and stick with it. Don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that before (I blame lack of sleep) she’s such a creature of habit!
Thanks all

It’s only blooming worked! Thanks all!
We are currently sat colouring with half an hour to spare!
Small moment of defiance when I wouldn’t open the stair gate this morning, and as usual refused to brush teeth. I left the tooth brush next to her and walked away cause we had time, she walked up to me brushing her teeth!!
Now to repeat it all again!

👍

Brilliant update! I made a list and we do the same routine every morning. On a night I put her uniform on the radiator and if she's fast enough she gets to put it on still warm 😂 don't know why this motivates her lol.

Glad to hear that