AIBU to think I can have both?

[goodnightspaceman]

So I recently told a male colleague at work that I've handed in my notice as I have a new job starting in Jan. It's further from home but a big opportunity for me, the next step in my career and hubby is happy to take care of the kids in the evenings. Anyway, after a few days of my collegue sulking he came back to me yesterday with comments such as "I don't get why you would move when you have the kids to think about, it's not like you want a career you're a Mum". My boss also said "I bet your husband won't be pleased"... these are exactly the sort of remarks that have made me want to leave in the first place! I just want to hear I'm not alone in wanting to have a great relationship with my family AND a career .... it's not just them either I had a single friend say to me once "you're not a career woman, you're a Mum!"

Of course not!

My friend is the breadwinner and has 2 kids. She's about to take a huge life changing promotion which will mean the family get to live all expenses paid in America for a few years.

The stupid sexist comments just show the backwards attitude of your colleagues.

You show 'em!

Yanbu to take a new job
But personally I don’t think you can have it all. Kids and careers take time - giving to one necessarily detracts your attention from the other.

Of course you can have both, but I think some things will have to give. It will be a hard juggling act. My boss is a career woman, and very much a mum. She does 4 days in the office and one day working from home. It works for her.

Certainly sounds like you've made the right choice to move on from there...

Sounds like you have made a wise decision to leave such a sexist environment.

It’s 2018. Plenty of women follow careers and have children. Just as men do.

Well obviously he's a misogynistic twat. You can have both- I do.

You can have both, keeping the balance right (for you and for your family) is key. It would be nice to say that Dads think about the impact of their careers on their children too, but it seems from other threads that this isn't always the case. Quite possibly they get similar comments about the wife's reaction.

Time to flag the need for some diversity training in your exit interview, I think.

I was a sahm for 5 years and i think they're talking shite. Great that you've got a new job away from this Neanderthal sexism. Well done.

Yeah it will be tough in the beginning finding a new balance but I was being pushed to work 5 days in my current place and I'm managing to keep to 4 days in the new place with one day from home so I'm hoping I will have the best of both worlds! It really does annoy me that no-one would dream of questionning my DH in the same way

Don't even get me started on the general sexism in this office...

@goodnight that's my working pattern and it works wonderfully.
It's always pissed me off that nobody ever questioned my DH'S working patterns....we even work at the same place yet I was the one being told how awful it was I had to work full time 🙄

You go OP! Lots of luck in your new role, ignore the naysayers.

Best of luck in your new role OP. You must be really pleased now to be leaving as your colleagues have really shown themselves up as idiots. Also the comments about your husband not being pleased would really have annoyed me. Some people just can't get their heads around the fact that some marriages are equal partnerships and I bet your husband is delighted for you as I know my DH would be if I were in your shoes.

Thanks for all the positive comments it's made today a lot easier!

@SparkyBlue He was the one who encouraged me to go for it so it infuriates me that the comments have been so negative from everyone...especially when DH started a new role last year with congratulations instead of questions about how he would cope! We both wanted a family so we both take our fair share of the responsibilities