7 week old son

[josiejo1993]

Hello there folks, I'm after a little advice. I'm a first time mum to my wonderful 7 week old son. He was planned and my husband and I went through loss and a whole lot of negative pregnancy tests before we finally got our boy. I feel like I'm doing a good job at looking after him, he's gaining weight well and he's happy and healthy. The only thing I'm struggling with is he just will not let me put him down, which wouldn't be a problem if I could just sit around all day but of course I can't. I love sitting around and cuddling him but I would really like to be able to start trying to get us into some sort of routine, I know he's still very young and these things take time. He doesn't have any set feeding times, he's a snacker and it feels like we always have a bottle on the go which is fine, I don't want him to feel hungry. At night I'll bath him around half 7 and he'll fall asleep whilst having a cuddle, I have tried putting him to bed after his bath but he wakes soon after and gets hysterical, however he'll have his last feed at between 10 and midnight and will go down no problem and will sleep until between 2 and 3,wake for a bottle and then go back to bed until its time to get up, he's good as gold. I just don't know how I can try and get some kind of pattern going during the day. My mum said that I was the same when I was a baby and she just had to push through it until I was big enough to understand but my sister had a baby two months before me and she told me he goes down at 7 awake, falls asleep and sleeps until 11 where he'll have a bottle and then sleep right through and what's more she can put him down for a nap, I felt utterly useless when she told me that, I felt and still feel as if I'm going wrong somewhere. Maybe I'm cuddling him too much? But then I don't want to not give him all the attention he wants because I don't want him to think I'm leaving him. I know im doing a good job because he's healthy and happy (as long as he's being held). Is this a common thing? And if so is it a case of just riding it out? Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance.

It's totally normal and you're doing a great job. 7 weeks is teeny tiny, he doesn't even know that he is separate from you yet, google the 4th trimester. And you can't cuddle babies too much!

They are all different! You do what's right for your baby - even if that means cuddling him all the time. He's still so small.

It sounds perfectly normal. He is 7 weeks old.

You can't over cuddle a small child imo. A child who knows their needs are met straight away is more likely to grow into a reassured settled child.

I would continue as you are. Maybe use a sling a bit at home if you want to be able to potter around for a bit and so some stuff whilst he naps. Otherwise, use the next few weeks to chill. Sit down with him on your lap if he needs it to nap. You can catch up on reading, or use the internet to look into activities or things he might like or need in a few months time. Find where is good to go locally in the summer etc.

This was very much DD1 until she was at least 4 months/16 weeksish. And she wasn’t a good night sleeper for a long time, at least a year. DD2 was a totally different kind of baby and always was fine with being put down awake to go to bed etc. You’ve just got a baby who’s more like my first DD was! Don’t sweat it, it’s his personality.

Thanks everyone, I totally agree with 'you can't cuddle a baby too much' and I love cuddling him. I suppose I just took what my sister said too tough. Of course they have different personalities. Thanks for the advice xx

You can laugh in private when your sister's DC turns into a fussy eater/has terrible twos/decides 5.30am is time to rise. They all have ways to torment their parents 😁

You are doing a brilliant job and absolutely nothing wrong. You will hear this A LOT - 'All babies are different' and they are, and whilst I know it's hard, please try not to compare to your sister. Her baby is two months older, and those two months can (not always!) make a huge difference.

7 weeks is still early days, try and go will the flow and enjoy the time you have together. It's precious - you won't look back and regret all those cuddles!

As others have said, you can't cuddle a tiny baby too much. I agree that a sling could be helpful, and really this stage doesn't last long in the overall scheme of things. My youngest is 2.5 years old and hardly stays still for a moment these days!

Also regarding feeding, it isn't "snacking" it's just that tiny babies feed little and often. That's entirely normal. Just because your sister's baby has very long gaps between feeds at this age doesn't make how your baby feeds wrong.

All babies are different!

As you said, your boy is gaining weight and he is happy and healthy, as far as anyone is concerned you are doing a great job. Cut yourself some slack. He just loves to cuddle his mummy

Your sisters baby is two months older - that's a long, long time at this stage. Seriously, it's the baby equivalent of being a teenager verses being a toddler.

Mine was exactly like yours at that age as it happens. Around three or four months I put her down (stone asleep) and she stayed that way until 1am. Gradually, at 6 months she's settling herself for sleep occasionally and we've got a nice bedtime routine. It'll come, just give it time.

Sorry, meant to say put her down at 6pm, as she had unusually gone off for a nap at that time.

My DS was like this - you’re doing a fab job, my best advice to you is enjoy the snuggles and cuddles because in a matter of weeks he won’t want to do it any more and he’ll be crawling around and you’ll miss it I promise! I’d give anything to be able to spend one of those afternoons on the sofa watching a box set whilst DS clings to me...now he’s running around like a nutter creating havoc and life is harder!! The fourth trimester makes so much sense. Forget about routines for now, he’ll find his own and you can then mould it and find something that works for all of you. Right now just forget about the housework and the dishes and enjoy your newborn as much as you can (whilst hideously sleep deprived and clinging on to your sanity!) it is hard but it passes so quickly

YY I have a 3 month old baby and it's very different to how he was when he was 7 weeks old. 2 months is more than his entire life OP! It will get easier. For now he needs you to hold him and that's absolutely fine. There is NOTHING better than baby snuggles anyway. IMO you are the lucky one

And yes it doesn't matter if he doesn't sleep the same as your sister's baby, as there will be other things he does "better" - they are simply all different.

I mean TBH if he sleeps independently from 10/midnight until pretty much morning - that is probably the best and most useful time for him to sleep! It would be no use him sleeping fine in the day if he needed to be held all night - and some babies do.

Take it in turns with your partner when he's not at work and make things easy by doing the barest minimum of housework (that's each - make sure your DP does his share too.)

And try a sling, if you want to get out and about. I like a stretchy wrap, Boba is a good one.

Thank you all so much xx