What do you class as CIO?

[CJ1990]

Just wondering...since 11 weeks old our little girl has been so altert she’s struggled to sleep downstairs with us if there are people / things to look at. Poor woman got no sleep and was constantly over tierd.

Bit sooner than I wanted but we started getting her to nap upstairs. We let her grizzle a bit sometimes and moan and she normally settles herself down. It usually makes it worse if we go up and rock / pat her etc as it’s like it’s irritating her.

We never let it go to full cry for long. Say a minute if that and we’re up there either giving up the nap to try again later or to settle her back down. However. My husband has said we are using the cry it out method and now I’m panicking :( I know she’s young but she won’t sleep on my and she does settle pretty easy most of the time. Just worried now and panicking I guess that I’ve been using this method and shouldn’t be letting her get upset at all!

I would add we use a monitor so she’s not upstairs totally alone we keep an eye on her

Cry it out is leaving your baby to cry herself to sleep. No reassuring. No patting. No cuddling. It's awful.
Not what you're doing.

How old is she

She’s 12 weeks

The week prior to me starting this the only way she would nod off is in the sling but as she naps so often it was exhausting...and even then that was hit and miss that she’d stay asleep long enough. Before that she’d fall asleep on me, then we used the bouncer for a bit..all became useless the older she got

You're not doing cry it out! You're responding to her when she needs it - and quite quickly by the sound of it if you only let her cry for a minute.

Some babies like to moan a bit to put themselves to sleep. From your OP it sounds like you're pretty tuned in to her, so you can probably tell when she's upset versus when she's just making noise because she's tired.

She's so young I think you're right to go to her promptly when she's upset (like you are). But it's inevitable that she will become upset sometimes. Put it this way - some babies are colicky and can't be calmed down for hours no matter what their parents do. And they turn out fine. Crying doesn't hurt babies, crying and getting no response from a caregiver for extended periods of time might.

Thanks @QuickGetTheEggplants that makes me feel so much better..I’ve been really upset about it today. A mix of why she won’t ever settle on me any more (I no she’s just becoming more independent and is too nosey to switch off when she’s tierd and there’s things to see!) and the fact I feel like I’m sleep training so young. But like I say I feel caught between a rock and a hard place.

Either keep her with me where she doesn’t sleep at all, or use this alternative! I do leave her moaning for a bit, it’s when it turns to cry’s I go see her. I feel the moaning / groaning is just “I’m pissed off that I’m tierd!”

My boy groans himself to sleep and when he wakes in the night and has done since he was a couple of months old. We always go in if he starts crying. I remember there were a lot of changes at that stage and it was really hard to know what to do for the best.

that is not cry it out - CIO is leaving the baby to cry itself to sleep for however long that takes.

I would say that you are not using CIO but you are not following SIDS guidelines and most cotdeath happens at 4 months. It is not a risk I would be willing to take.

They're leaving the baby for one minute! Heavens, that could happen in any situation.

@Jackshouse I know what your saying however I have tried her in a Moses basket in our living room and she was having none of it. Then as I say we managed in a bouncer for a few days but then she stopped sleeping in that. The sling worked for a while but I worried about her getting to hot being in the sling in the house so never left her in long enough for a decent nap

OP its your baby and your choice.

RiverTam the OP is leaving the baby for cry for one minutes but is then leaving the baby upstairs to sleep.

I do have a monitor which I’m constantly watching so will notice if she got tangled in anything (not that there is anything for her to get tangled in) and i can see the room temp. I just don’t know what other options there are for a baby that won’t sleep other than in dark and quiet :(

I always let mine have a bit of a grizzle when they fell asleep. Any distressed cry and I would offer comfort but I would leave a grizzle or tired cry. I would class cry it out as ignoring a distressed cry.

Cry it out is when you leave baby to cry until they stop. Sounds like you're doing something to check and console. Check out dream baby sleep on Instagram or facebook; they helped us massively, albeit around the 7 month mark. They'll have advice for younger babies too though