For Xmas babies parents. Going out in winter with newborn?

[chloem93]

Hi all,

I'm due in December and for all I know I could give birth a week before Xmas or a few days before or even on Xmas day if I go past my due date.

What I wanted to know is, how soon after having your baby did you socialise and go out? My mother seems to have this expectation that I will give birth and then straight away be up for Xmas celebrations. I keep thinking...I'll be sleep deprived, be practicing breastfeeding (my first child), in pain from giving birth and I also fear as it's winter season that someone in my family will be ill and then pass it on to baby or myself and then to baby. So I'm put off by the idea of Xmas this year, am I being a grinch?
How soon did you socialise with others and spend hours around a family members home in the winter?

I'm not saying I don't want to go out for months and months because I will be a single mum and realistically I'll have to leave home to go to the shop ect but I was planning on doing that after a few weeks if possible, but I think my mother thinks I should introduce the baby to the family no matter how old she is... At first the idea was that the family was going out for a meal at a restaurant but now it's changed to my grandads house, where it will be 8-9 of us. I'm not very close to my family so maybe that's why I'm put off by it, I'll be fiddling around with breastfeeding covers for the majority of the time and making sure the smokers go outside instead of smoking in my babies face. There's also the issue that I don't drive so I feel like I'll be forced to stay there until I can get a lift back home, which I don't like the idea of. If I do give birth right by Xmas day, is it harsh to not go around to see family on Xmas day?

I had my 3rd baby on 28th December. I went out and about visiting family over new year. I felt ok. I was BF, baby was chilled. I was lucky! I would see how you feel, you might feel ok. Good luck x

My 1st was born by csection on the 21st December, i made it to my parents for christmas dinner and boxing day. I breastfed but didn't mind feeding in front of people even though i was just getting the hang of it! My grandparents/aunties/uncles met the baby at my parents on boxing day which meant we didnt have to entertain them in our house! X

I managed to get across to see people for the day but didn't stay over anywhere, which we normally do.

I was due 18th Dec and DS came on the 13th last year. We were up and about at a Christmas party on the 16th after a couple of days at home. I had a forceps delivery and gave up on BF as DS had TT and I was given very little help in hospital so it removed that aspect of it. Christmas is my fav time of year so DS had to just fit in with what we wanted to do, and that was to socialise and see friends and family.
However, this is your choice. No one else gets a say in when and where you go and that's that, it doesn't matter the time of year. I was lucky that I had no issues or complications (other than being sore) so it didn't stop me doing anything but my DSIL had a c-section on Xmas Eve and was in hospital for a couple of days before being allowed home.

Everyone's different in recovery time and getting into the swing of looking after a newborn. Tell your DM you're playing it by ear and are making no set plans. Don't let her bully you into being anywhere or doing anything that you don't want.

My DD2 was born on 20th December by an elective section. We came out of hospital on 23rd and had a quiet Christmas Eve/Day at home, but visited my mum's on Boxing Day (9 of us there) and then popped in to our friends Boxing Day Eve celebration. It was quite good to get it out of the way as we were then left alone for a few days between Xmas and New Year.

Christmas Eve baby, we saw family on Boxing Day but only flying visits by them.

You will need to play it by ear, some women find breast feeding easy right away with no real need to practice and you may be desperate for adult company, equally you may not. Don’t let anyone push you around and just see how you feel!

DD was born a week before Christmas but we only left hospital on Christmas Eve. We bunkered down as things were very difficult for us in the early days.

I was out quite quickly after giving birth but I had a summer baby.

I would say, don’t make plans yet. Just see how you feel. You might be fine, get the hang of BF quickly and want the company or you might just want to hibernate at home on the sofa with your boobs out!

Don’t put pressure on yourself. Looking back I wish I’d stayed at home, I was walking around mothercare on day 2 and out at baby groups at week 2. It was far too soon!

Depends on baby - i wasn't sleep deprived, breastfeeding came easily and i wasn't in any pain post birth so i was out and about after about 2 days.

Just wait and see how you feel. Tiredness will depend on you as well. I've always coped well on broken sleep as long as i still got around 6hrs, my partner on the other hand needs a solid night sleep.

Don’t make plans. You have no idea what state you’ll be in after birth. Best to just explain that to family and set their expectations now.

I had an emergency c-section with my January baby. Went out for a pub lunch with friends 6 days later. Although that was with lots of help from my husband. I’d suggest not making any plans and see how you feel once the baby has arrived. Don’t feel under pressure from your family, but on the other hand you might feel like their company - can they come to you instead (whilst bringing food etc with them)?

Mine is 9 months old and I still don’t socialise. Mostly because I don’t have anyone to babysit. With the baby in tow it isn’t exactly socialising so much as wrangling the baby while everyone else socialises.

I didn't want to travel immediately post baby. I was sore, sleep deprived, and had very iffy bladder control, so being at home was by far the best option, especially as I had my boobs out pretty much 24 7.

If your family are people who need to be told not to smoke around a newborn (seriously what the fuck?) I would definitely stop at home!

You should just do whatever suits you. I went and registered my daughters birth and did grocery shopping on the way home from the hospital and we had visitors quite quickly but everyone is different just be clear with your mum about what you want if you can't be a bit selfish and baby focused just after the birth of your little one I don't know when you can. Also it might be useful to register for a grocery delivery service then you can just stay home and only go out because you want to.

My first baby is due next week and as far as Christmas goes - my parents are coming to stay for a few days for Christmas day and my in-laws for a couple of days before that but otherwise I'm not committing to anything. To be fair no one seems to expect me to - just lots of "please tell us when you're up for socialising/visitors as we'd love to see you".

Both sets of parents are of the mucking in variety though so apart from making sure we get a supermarket delivery I don't need to "host" as such (DM does better roast potatoes than me anyway!). If I was expecting to have to do everything for having them here then I think I'd be being firmer on the "not til I know how me and the baby are doing" before agreeing to anything.

If you're on your own you need to find the right balance for you on company/support and time for you and your new baby to get to know each other. 8/9 people at the same time with a 1-2 week old would not be on my agenda - maybe a smaller group for a shorter period would be better, especially if you're trying to establish feeding. My plan if I'm struggling is to hide in my room for a bit with the baby on my own (unless they want to bring me tea!). You need to be clear that you need flexibility depending on how you and your little one are doing, and when they're born - how you feel if your baby is a week old at Christmas will likely be very different than with a 3 week old.

I’m Jewish. My DS was born in January and when he was 8 days old we had 30+ friends and loved ones over to our home for his bris. It wasn’t the most fun family gathering that I’ve ever attended but it was fine. Originally I had planned to not pass him around bc I was afraid of him picking up an illness but there were so many people who came from far away and were so thrilled to meet the baby (first grandchild on both sides) and I wanted to give them a moment to share our happiness and fall in love with DS like we did. I was strict about hand washing and using hand sanitizer and it all turned out fine.

I'm with Blowpoke - also Jewish - DS's born Tuesday. We had 40-50 over on the Friday evening for a "meet the baby" party and then about 80-100 for the brit the next week. Passed them both around will no ill-effects - feel a bit guilty now for not considering the spread of illness, etc, but was first grandchild for my DPs.