Centiles ds is overweight any advice?

[Babycarrot]

Ds is three.
I checked his bmi centiles a few weeks ago and he is on the 92nd bmi centile according to the nhs.
This makes him overweight.
I am horrified as I honestly did not see it.
Both dp and I are a healthy weight. No weight problems In the family.
I am genuinely disgusted I have let my ds down so badly and am trying to remedy this with more exercise - family walks on weekends. Trying to get to the park as much as possible.

Ds is a good eater and will eat veg etc but just seems to be constantly hungry and asking for things.

I have thrown out all of the biscuits in the house. So that dp and I are making changes as a family to help. I’m determined to do whatever it takes to turn this around.

He is cared for by grandparents several times a week and I know that they are still giving him sugary biscuits and juice etc which I have spoke to them about, but they have said that he doesn’t look overweight compared to other children his age. They have said they will stop but I’m not really sure what he is having there.

Since we made the changes, I have measured him again and he has just stayed the same, so I’m a bit disheartened.
Can anyone advise me on how to help cut the amount he is eating down and get him back into the healthy range?

Now I am also dreading next month. December. The month of every one who wants to shovel sugar into your child has a free pass to do so as it’s christmas.
I have said I don’t want chocolate/sweets as presents for him, this has been dismissed already.
I feel like I am being made out to be cruel mummy.

I just don’t know what to do for the best as I don’t want him set up for a life time of weight related problems. It does feel as though we are fighting a losing battle at this time of year with less opportunities for outdoor play and sugar thrown at us from every angle.
I despair!

yes keep his diet healthy, cut back on sweets, remove sugary drinks give healthy snacks and keep active (appropriately for a 3 year old) and over time you will see a difference. don't take any drastic measures like dieting without speaking to a professional for advice.

What centile is his height and what centile his weight? If these are equal then he's not overweight- he'd be spot on.

DD2 (age 3) was on the 98th centile a few months ago. Has been since birth (EBF, BLW etc). I weighed her a couple of days ago and she’s now 82nd centile. We didn’t make any changes to her diet (which was already good), just started walking a lot more!
DD1 eats almost exactly the same as DD2 (if not more) and she’s 9th centile, so it is really tricky I think.

It didn’t give the separate centiles in the nhs bmi for children calculator.

Just took his height 3 foot and weight 2st 4lb and said that his bmi was on the 92nd centile which is overweight.
I’m really devastated and so upset and feel like people are dismissing it as ‘puppy fat’, and me being over the top when this could be a very serious problem.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/bmi-calculator/#check-your-bmi

Link to the site I used.

He weighs a fair bit less than my 3 year old, but she’s 12cm taller!
A few cms at this age makes a big difference. He doesn’t need to lose any weight, just to maintain his weight for a bit while he continues to grow in height.
What are his portion sizes like?

Soy he is constantly asking for food I’m so worried it’s become an obsession.
All I seem to hear is I’m hungry I’m hungry I’m hungry. He constantly seems to be thinking about food and I’m worried it’s the start of a problem.
So I have tended to give in and offer fruit, toddler crisps etc and sometimes biscuits.
This has stopped recently.
But he is also getting sweets several times per week from grandparents which I haven’t got much control over as I’m not there.
He is active and has Tons of energy but I think the weight has crept up since weather has been worse.

Yes, mine always asks for food too. I try and distract her with an activity instead (sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t!) and have replaced her meals with higher protein options which helps. Mine also get treats at their grandparents, so I try and balance it with healthy food the rest of the week. My parents are pretty good at cutting it down when I tell them to though!

You cant take weight as a measure on its own.

Make sensible and sustainable changes to diet.

Are you over weight yourself op?

Cross post. Stop giving crisps and biscuits.
Is he drinking enough? Could he be confusing hunger with thirst?

That link puts my son as underweight.

No count neither me or dp are overweight. My bmi always around 21 - 22 dp in health range also. Never have been as children or adults. Think this is why it’s came as a huge shock.

Could be thirsty water is always on offer but now he has the taste for juice he will shun water and ask for juice then just not drink if it is refused.

I’m not overweight either, and DD1 is 9th centile. DD2 was born on the 98th centile, remained that way when she was EBF and through weaning (BLW). She’s larger than DD1 in all ways, even her head is much bigger. It is harder with some children than others! Hers and DD1’s diets are almost identical except DD1 eats more. It’s tough.

I went through this with my first. DH and I are both slim, meals are healthy and home cooked and we don't do fizzy drinks or sweets so I was devestated to be told by the HV when DD was three that she was "a bit overweight". Like your DS, she likes her food and would often say she was hungry. You can't win to be honest as you feel like a neglectful parent if you don't "tackle" the weight issue but like a cruel parent if you deny them food when they ask for it. I used to dread occasions like birthday parties and family meals out- all the other kids would be filling their boots and I'd feel guilty for trying to limit what she was eating. It's so stressful as you don't want to give them a complex but equally you feel you'll be judged if you don't get their weight down.

Honestly OP, I really wish I hadn't given it so much headspace. Nothing we did, cutting portion sizes (which weren't excessive anyway), increasing exercise etc made much of a difference. I really think it was just her build. Then when she started school all of a sudden it changed. Halfway through the first term of Reception year we noticed she'd sort of stretched out. She'd lost her 'toddler tummy' and looked leaner even though school dinners are undoubtedly not as healthy as what she was previously having at home. Like you I felt people were being dismissive when they mentioned "puppy fat" but now I think they were right. I really wish I hadn't worried so much.

Is he a boredom eater, this can be a problem for kids as well as adults. We definitely notice it in one of our DC.

When he asks for food I would offer a drink and then suggest doing something together. "ohh, DS we haven't tried that craft set yet - can you go and get it for me?" etc.

Distraction has definitely proved useful in breathing the constant I'm hungry's in our house.

Give him food thats more filling so he doesnt feel hungry so often. For example if he has toast for breakfast give with peanut butter or an egg, rather than just jam or butter.

Protein items usually fill more compared to carbs.

Lie to grandparents. just say in a few weeks time you took him to the dentist and they are worried about his weak enamel or something. so everyone needs to be super careful about less sugar. That will stop the juice and sweet overload.

if he needs a snack, give him one. but not super sugary or sweet. raw veggies, cubes cheese, small sandwich, some nuts, glass milk, plain popcorn. He's probably become used to a sweet tooth so it will take a few weeks for him to accept no more juice, and water and milk only options.

My 2 year old DS (28 months) is 100cm tall and 20.3kg. On that calculator he is off the scale (99%+) for BMI. He's just had his 27 month check and the HVs were perfectly happy with him. He has always been off the scale in terms of percentiles, I try not to worry about it as none of the health professionals have ever been worried about it. He eats well, no sweets, lots of veg, only drinks water and milk. He's in proportion, just big!

I had a similar experience when my son was about 2.5. I was actually told off by the health visitor when me moved to an new area as he was on the 98th percentile for weight. He was also on the same percentile for height. I explained that he ate well and was very active but I was made to feel like a bad mother. Both myself and my husband were normal weight. I continued to feed him the same healthy diet with the odd treat and he is now a 6 foot 3 inch 18 year old with not an ounce of fat on him. I think you will know yourself if you need to worry about his diet and exercise levels.

Yes the HV had no concerns over DD2 either, she’s very tall and the HV was surprised when she weighed her as she certainly doesn’t look fat.
It’s hard because if anything DD1 needs to put some weight on and they’re very close in age so it’s hard balancing their different needs!

Don't get him to loose weight.
Try to cut back on the additional snacking, run around a bit more, and maintain his current weight.
As he grows taller, he will slim out.

You can look up his height and weight separately on the centile charts to give you an idea of how far away his height is from his weight.

So I have tended to give in and offer fruit, toddler crisps etc and sometimes biscuits If he is genuinely hungry, this won’t fill him up. You would be better giving him peanut butter/humus/avocado on toast/crackers, a small portion of cheese and biscuits, etc (something filling with protein).

Toddler crisps are just a gimic and won’t be helping. Biscuits and sweets should really be an occasional treat not something he’s having several times a week as his ‘normal’.

Lots of children are used to constant snacks and not used to feeling a bit hungry inbetween meals, which is a normal and healthy thing to feel and probably not very good for him not to feel this.

I know how it’s hard not to give in when they are asking for juice, biscuits etc so probably easier to not have it in the house. Juice is awful for teeth so best to keep for an occasional thing.

How many sweets is he being given by GPs? If it’s literally three Haribo, three times a week, it won’t make a huge difference. But if it’s a bag of sweets a few times a week, plus biscuits, crisps, juice, cake etc. it’ll make a huge difference and outweigh anything you do at home.

I agree with posters above, make all meals protein based with lots of veg. If he’s hungry give a peanut butter cracker, a finger sized piece of cheese, half a hard boiled egg. No biscuits or empty carbs like toddler crisps or breadsticks (unless served with a blob of houmous).

In your place I’d say to the grandparents the doctor has told you to cut all sweets and biscuits from his diet and they mustn’t give them at all. Any presents of sweets will have to be passed on to a foodbank so please don’t waste your money.

I’ve been here with the PIL dismissal and it is just a case of ignoring the eye-rolling and being firm!!

Ive had same issues with my parents who had the children four days a week while i worked.
They give constant snacks, biscuits, sweets, juice and pop, sugar filled cereals.
They wouldnt be told.
I bought their food ahop with healthy food the children would eat. They still gave junk. I bought lots of berries and said the children would choose berries over sweets everytime. They still gave biscuits and sweets. I had six years of argumentsnover cocopops. Six. Long. Years.

The dentist was concerned. I told them. They argued they brushed their teeth. My dd had a tooth removed and told me to get the grandparents in line. They said they realaied theyd been bad ‘that week’ and would stop. It lasted one week. That week my sister was there and was horrified at what they gave them in sugar just in the few hours one day she was there too and told them so! Ive even worked out the sugar of what theyd given them one day alone and measured it out to physically show them. They still wouldn't have it.

They no longer look after the children.

...Now i just brush off the ‘Youre killing us not letting us have the children’.

Calm down. If you put in his weight as 2 stone 3 lbs (1 lb lighter), it comes out as 'healthy weight'. The difference is minute. He's growing like a weed. His percentile will fluctuate slightly all the time.