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help me help DD through this friendship breakdown please

9 replies

musicmindset · 24/11/2018 22:06

DD is 15, she’s been friends with a girl (let’s call her B) since nursery when they met as 2 year olds I believe, so 12/13 years of friendship.

They went to the same primary school but different senior schools. Throughout year 7, 8 and 9 they have managed to stay really close and were inseparable despite both having friendship groups at school and at their hobbies.

Then all of a sudden, we’re well into year 10 and DD got a message from B an hour ago stating that she can’t continue to be her friend on the grounds that DD apparently bullied her other best friend from primary school who DD has had minor arguments with in the past but she hasn’t spoken to the girl since year 7! Of course- DD is really upset and won’t stop crying about how they’ve been friends over a decade and her so called best friend blocked her on all social media and cut ties altogether within half an hour tonight over something that she didn’t do to someone else.

I think it’s all more traumatic than it should be for DD because B’s new best friend bullied DD throughout primary and DD went from being well liked and fairly popular to having no friends apart from B and she had finally become the confident girl we all know and love since moving to a different senior school.

B also proceeded to call DD a ‘bossy arrogant little bitch’ and tell her that she needs to ‘stop giving my new best friend panic attacks and stay the fuck away from us’ she also threw in ‘you may hang round with rich popular girls but you are still a loner at heart and you bullied me and my friend and ur so stupid’

Sorry for the rant but I’m fuming as DD has just shown me the fake screenshots (faking DD bullying B’s best friend) Bs new best friend made using an APP!!

Someone give me some advice please as DD is literally inconsolable to the point where a close friend of hers sent me a text asking me if DD wants her to come over with costa and ice cream!!

OP posts:
musicmindset · 24/11/2018 22:06

ignore the typos please i’m so stressed for DD to think properly

OP posts:
NonaGrey · 24/11/2018 22:16

To be honest if someone was libelling my DD and creating fake messages I’d be calling their parents and having a very serious conversation.

Meanwhile, ice cream and another friend round seems like a nice idea.

Make sure your DD (or her friends) don’t contact the two girls concerned in any way.

FourFoxCakes · 24/11/2018 22:18

Yes, let the friend come round.

musicmindset · 24/11/2018 22:23

Yeah, her friend is on her way over and I would contact the girl who made the fake messages, parents but I don’t have either of their numbers as deleted them after the whole bullying incident all those years ago, they’ve probably changed numbers since then anyway. The only other way I could get a their numbers is from DDs old best friends mother and I don’t particually fancy a convosation with her right now.

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Orchiddingme · 24/11/2018 22:27

I would just keep reassuring your dd that you believe her, that this girl and her new best friend obviously have some type of issues, and whilst very sad, she can move on with her new friends now as they have been really nasty. I don't think you should get involved, it's very stupid stuff and it'll just end up with more accusations flying around. I'd keep a record of what was 'faked' discretely so that if there's any come back, you have a screen shot of it.

But boost your dd- this is NOT her fault and she needs to block and ignore them both.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 24/11/2018 22:50

Sadly she’s learnt the hard way that people are fickle and untrustworthy however long you’ve been friends. When the friend has been badly treated by the bully and comes crawling back to your dd she can tell her to fuck off. If she’d rather listen to a manipulative bully rather than the friend she’s had all these years she’s no real loss. I know it’s awful for your dd right now but you’ve got to persuade her that the friend has shown her true colours and she’s really not worth the effort. Looks like she’s dodged a bullet. I sympathise, my dd has had some friendship issues since starting year seven.

Amazonian27 · 24/11/2018 23:04

Sounds like your DD is well shot of her ex BF she will come to realise this in time. Her ex BF Jealous of her and very fickle. Girls can be so manipulative and cruel to one another and everything is magnified with social media. Be kind to her, let her know you love her and resist the urge to contact the girls or parents but discreetly keep a bit of what went on when Incase things get any worse, but hopefully they won’t.
My DD had a lot of hassle in year 7 with some supposed friends they had decided to fall out with DD but made it her fault. They put cryptic statuses on Snapchat & Instagram with photos of their fake tears so others asked what was wrong and then they told them how it was all DD’s fault yet their was 3 of them plus an extended crowd and only DD. She’s in year 9 now and rarely socialises with anyone outside of school they really knocked her confidence. I think she’s quietly happy to be at home with us most of the time. She is a lovely girl. Her ex best friends are sad loud and rude and look like overly made up slappers. She is well rid of them.

curlies · 25/11/2018 03:18

I think I'd speak to the best friends parents (your dds best friend not the new bully best friend) I'd lay out the evidence to her and then just leave it. That way she knows the truth and how your dd feels but the ball is in her court to make her own mind up.

Amazonian27 · 26/11/2018 08:31

No leave well alone at that age your DD will likely get a ribbing if you intervene.

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