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Please please help!!

3 replies

Poppy1989 · 24/11/2018 21:49

I breast feed by 4 month old son....

For the last few weeks he's been up every hour... feeds and fusses.... Sometimes he doesn't even feed a lot (like 10 mins) and it seems just for comfort....
He then does this until 4-5am and is wide awake!!

I'm exhausted and drained!! I have no idea how to maybe change his body clock slightly!
Iv tried clam baths... massage... and putting him down at 7pm.

I think I'm going crazy!! I'm so upset constantly now!! It's giving me anxiety!
I can feel myself falling asleep when feeding him... I feel sick when I have to get up and just getting run down.

Please if anyone has advise.... or a time routine I could try?!
Thank you!!!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SanFranBear · 24/11/2018 21:53

Four months is a really tricky time but what you describe is perfectly normal. They go through a huge developmental leap around that age and I remember it being so so hard.

Are you able to rest when he does actually sleep. You need to prioritise this so the nights don't seem as intense. Can your DP/DH help more. I realise he's ebf, but they could take the reins for a couple of hours so you can sleep and perhaps take a couple of the shifts at night (when he's not genuinely hungry and is just grizzly)

mondaysaturday · 25/11/2018 22:25

We went through the exact same thing. From what I was told, four months is the point where their sleep cycles start to mature. So now they're cycling through light sleep then deep dreaming sleep and in babies, each cycle lasts about an hour or so.

It's really common in normal sleep to wake up and go back to sleep between cycles and not remember it. But in babies, they haven't learned how to link up their cycles and fall back asleep.

Your baby is probably used to getting fed to sleep, or at least mine was. I had breastfed her off to sleep her entire life, so that was how she settled to sleep and when she started waking up between sleep cycles, she didn't know how to settle herself without being breastfed back to sleep.

I didn't really like the idea of leaving her to cry it out, but what worked for us was gently breaking the fed-to-sleep association gradually by changing her schedule so that I was feeding her on waking up, not right before a nap, and putting her down for a nap after playtime, not after feed time. Same with nighttime, I'd try to give her a feed about an hour before actual bedtime, so she was learning how to fall asleep without being fed to sleep.

Eventually, after a few weeks, she stopped needing a feed to get back to sleep and now at six months she's back to sleeping through, with just the occasional night feed.

The four month sleep regression is hell, for sure, but you'll get through it!

AvoidingMarking · 25/11/2018 22:34

There is a sleep regression at 4 months, on top of teething/about to roll/sit up. It's horrendous but it is temporary. Make sure you look after yourself and sleep when baby does if you can.

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