Feel resentful towards my baby because I can’t sit down

[guiltynetter]

I have a 10 week old DS and he cries. A LOT. on and off all day, then it starts properly around 4pm and can go on up until 11pm, sometimes non stop. the only thing that stops this crying is picking him up and walking round with him. me and my DH take it in turns to pace the living room all night. As soon as you go to sit down or even perch, he starts screaming again. My DH has gone out today and he has just started screaming again. nothing wrong as far as i can tell, he’s fed, just slept, fresh nappy etc. He only stops if i get up and walk around. I know he is only 10 weeks and a helpless baby but i can’t help feeling angry that i can’t even sit down. it is so hard. I am so upset. When does it end?!

Sounds really tough OP, and totally normal to feel resentful. DD was unsettled as a newborn but no reflux or anything. Not sure if this will help, but things that worked for us:

• swaddle - very tight. We used a miracle blanket as she wriggled out of everything else!
• dummy
• white noise
• bouncy chair (the sort you can bounce with your foot- she much preferred this to a swing). I would bounce her really quite vigorously with my foot whilst I had a quick cup of tea! She would have her dummy & white noise at the same time.

Hope things improve for you all soon.

thanks for all the supportive posts. it’s somehow comforting to know lots of people have been through it and come out alive! he won’t take a dummy which i’m gutted about, he absolutely screams even louder when you put it in his mouth! he'll have a good suck of his fists though 🙈

Spend ages on burping - ages - that might be it

Hi guilty, as a mum of a crier myself, I really feel for you. It is so so hard but I am sure you are doing a great job. As peony said above, we have a support thread in this topic for those of us with criers! Feel free to join us if you want to chat/moan/vent/advice anything, we are a friendly (though exhausted and often very stressed!) bunch. This is the link.

Mine wouldn't take a dummy either, used to gag and spit it out. One thing that I remember doing is lying her face down across my knees which sitting forward on the sofa and jiggling her gently while patting her back which seemed to help. She suffered really badly with colic and was genuinely in pain and the continuous motion seemed to help. You could try that and see if it works with your little one.

Honestly, I would be straight back to the GP. It sounds as if it could well be the same milk allergy as your dd. If you can try him on neocate for a week and see how he is, yiu have your answer.
Why should you all suffer?

If you can afford try a rocking chair.
If it's the movement that settles her it might be a good idea to buy one

Oh the "not-even-allowing-you-to-perch" thing used to drive me crackers with my eldest. I remember putting her down in the other room and huffing at DH, "Does she want me to walk allllllll niggghhhhhhht?!"

Sorry, OP, it's crap. It did get a lot better for us though when ours was on the right dose of omeprazole. Ranitidine didn't even touch it. Can you go back for a new prescription?

In the meantime it sounds like you have it right: teamwork, teamwork, teamwork. Make sure both of you get a good chunk of rest each.

Oh and even with the reflux, the crying hugely decreased at around 13-14 weeks so hang in there.

I know it’s terribly patronising to hear but it will pass sooner than you think and before you know it they’re a PITA child that doesn’t want to sit within ten yards of you because you’re embarrassing . They’re not small for very long, it does get much easier in time. I remember my DD being this way to the extent I couldn’t bath without also putting her in her bath support with me and I had to sit her in her bouncer in front of me whenever I went to the loo. She’s now six and lovely, definitely doesn’t follow me to the loo anymore . I have a four week old and keep reminding myself he won’t be this tiny for long and it will pass.

The gym ball and sling idea is great. I also hear very good things about the rockit rocker thing (clips to the side of a pram/cot/car seat etc and vibrates), I’m considering trying that.

If hes crying that much Id take him to the drs. O P. Tell them about the milk allergy. A stretchy wrap sling is a lot more comfortable and snuggly than a baby Bjorn type carrier so may help. My 2nd son was like this, he had reflux and a milk allergy. He was comfortable in his car seat so sometimes I put him in there to have a break. Hope you find something that helps. My son got better once we found the fight milk, around 6 weeks. X