My aunt was a beta mum! She had 8 children. I could write a book, but here is a list of things she did,
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there was never food in her cupboards. About 3-4 times daily, she'd bundle all the kids and the dog in her small car and drive to the local shop to buy their breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks.
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sometimes she'd make a roast chicken. She'd find a space on the table to place the chicken (no plate underneath) and the kids would stand around the table picking at it. The dog ate any pieces that fell to the floor
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the kids always went wild swinging on cupboard doors and throwing cameras/radios at each other. Everything would end up broken or torn within hours of being in the house.
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locals felt sorry for her and would donate clothes, shoes, toys to her which she would greatfully accept then she would throw into her walk-in wardrobe....only you couldn't walk into it as it was piled to the ceiling with clothes!
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the kids never had baths. Every now and then, they wouls strip off and bathe in the cattle water tank.
Her children are all degree educated, keep immaculate homes, two have children of their own and I feel they are actually over- fanatical about hygiene!
In fairness to my aunt, she is a lovely person, she reared all her children on her own with NO help from her husband who would work, go to golf, then to the pub. She had no such luxury in her life.