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help/moral support please - going mad - ds (10 wks) won't let me put him down.

29 replies

phdlife · 21/06/2007 11:27

during the day (from about 6am) he won't sleep anywhere but in my arms and when he's awake cries as soon as i leave the room. i can't even go to the loo or make my lunch. He's very heavy (14lbs 10oz last check) so my back, shoulders and wrists are killing me. he no longer sleeps in his sling; he often can't get off to sleep in afternoons but is trying so will NOT be put down without screams. and although he is clearly tired lately he is staying awake til 10pm, fussing and hitting me (occasionally dh, but ds often screams if dh takes him) - obviously frantic to get to sleep but can't manage. then he's up for bfing 3-4 times in the night, quiet, no fuss, but I am utterly knackered and fed up with being unable to move/do anything all day, only get to use pc one-handed so even this is giving me a neck-crick. don't have any family or child-friendly mates nearby(starting to get out to mums groups but only just) and feel like i am imploding - please no-one tell me he needs this, i really want to respond to his needs but i've tried for 10 weeks and it's getting worse not better. i am desperate for an hour or two to myself each day withou him crying - when does this incessant need ease off? what can i do to help him?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
EffiePerine · 28/06/2007 19:27

PHD: DS didn't start self-settling till quite late on - still a bit hit and miss after 9 months. But he is a happy, contented baby so I don't think I've 'spoiled' him . Go with your instincts, get help if poss and see what happens

phdlife · 29/06/2007 12:19

ah, the sound knowledge is what I lack - can't figure out which bits are bona fide and which are propaganda!

(he was miraculously good last night, btw, it's just daytime naps are the big struggle!)

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mum2george · 29/06/2007 19:28

Glad he was good for you last night.

Two books that I would recommend are:

The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley - had this one with DS and it stopped me going insane! Lots of advice on getting them to settle during the day & night without resorting to controlled crying.

&

Babycalming by Caroline Deacon. Sound advice based on research and she is a breastfeeding counsellor and mother. Really wish I knew about this when we had DS.

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phdlife · 03/07/2007 11:33

thanks mum2, will check them out. Feeling very under-supported at moment. Don't know anyone (except on MN of course) who hasn't resorted to cc and increasingly feeling like it's my "fault" that I have a nearly 12-week old who still feeds 3x night and sleeps any old time he wants - so long as it's in my arms. did I mention being accosted by random HV at bfing support group, who saw ds going to sleep in my arms and said, "oh, you're going to be completely spoiled, aren't you!"

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