A baby and toddler and carrying the mental load

[JustKeepSwimming66]

I have just had the worst day looking after my 9 week old DD and 2 year old DS. DS keeps having awful loud tantrums over seriously everything and anything and it's so hard to deal with. He shouts and screams loudly and sometimes throws himself on the floor. He plays quite roughly too and i wish i had the energy/time/space/more inclination to allow him to use his energy up in a more productive way. Tired from being up late/early with the baby and finding running the house and endless washing etc hard to deal with. We also have £20 to see us until payday which is 7 days away. It's a very trying time and I'm not looking for advice really, just want to know other women are out there like me wondering if they can do tonorrow or not

I’m in a similar boat. I have a noisy 3 year old and a 5 month old baby. The days are long and hard. Today I’ve felt like I was loosing my mind. Was going to post myself as could just do with some insight from those who’ve been in these shoes and come through the other side. For you 💐

ComeAlive nice to know you're out there. I have never known such long days as these! Feels relentless and such hard work. And kind of lonely. Hopefully someone will post to reassure us that it will all get easier. Hey maybe in a few years time we will look back and laugh at this! for you too :)

It’s very hard. Every day is like Groundhog Day. Mine are 3.5 and 13m so I’m still in the midst, but it’s definitely improved from those early weeks. Baby sleeps (mostly) through the night so I’m not totally exhausted. And I’m not feeding her every hour of the day!

Things that helped were nursery for the toddler (appreciate that’s probably not on the cards for you if you have no money, but hopefully he will get his free hours at some point). And we do a lot of play dates so I at least have adults to talk to.

Otherwise don’t feel bad about too much tv for the older one. Try to get outside daily. Baby should sleep in the pram and the older one can burn off some energy. Easy meals and make sure your partner is pulling his weight with regards to washing and cooking and doing bedtime for toddler etc.

Anyway it is tough and it does get better!

Hi everyone, I have a 6 year old and a 5 year old so I’ve been through what you’re going through and have come out the other end!!! They are amazing now and so much fun and they are the best of friends. The long, tiring days seem long gone....so much so that I have an 8 week old baby too!
I know the days feel relentless, boring, lonely, repetitive now but trust me when they start school these days will seem like a distant memory! Time really does go fast - don’t beat yourself up if you have a bad day, everyone had them, just move in and hope for a better day tomorrow etc, it does get better!

Getting out definitely helps and i need to make more of an effort to do that. Tv is an absolute godsend peppa pig has become my new best friend! My husband is fantastic and definitely does his share. Not sure he completely gets how hard it is on your own at home with them both though but that's not his fault as he needs to work. Just need this phase to pass with DD being so little and them both needing a bottle or lunch at the same time as each other etc. Thanks for reassuring me though! Nice to know others remember it and also know it passes x

Ah I hear you. I have a non sleeping 2 year old and a 3 month old and peppa is my saviour. Hang in there, it gets easier, but I can bet you are doing better than you think.

Church and community playgroups? Our church one has a voluntary contribution of 50p to cover tea and toast, plenty of people who’d love a cuddle with the baby while you drink your tea and space for the toddler to run around in the dry. If you have a local mums FB group try asking on that if there’s anything similar in your area.

It's just a small thing but can your DH spare 10/15 mins in the morning before work so you or he can make you and your DS's meals and snacks for the day and leave them in the fridge. It will really help when the baby needs feeding at the same time as the 2 yr old, and you don't get forgotten either. If he has 30 mins to spare, you could even get a quick shower and dressed for the day. You are doing great and remember everything is a phase and will pass.

Well as of last night I've found a local playgroup and im waiting to hear from them about a place for my 2 year old. He really needs more than i can give him i think, and it will give me a few hours break too. He so boisterous and needs to get rid of some energy.
And you're right Mrsl2016 - i think the mornings are a time when husband could do more really and move a bit quicker! He gets our 2 year old up and dresses but i think i need him to start doing the breakfast too. Baby jusy slept until 7am today and it took up my normal timeslot to get a quick shower and son breakfast. It's like juggling!

I’ve a DD 3.4 and a 1 year old DS
I’m home with both.
Although she gets her 15 free hours. A god send.
It’s relentless, exhausting and groundhog ish. We are watching moana for the 10000th time and I don’t care as they are both still while I type.
It’s got easier but I’m so close to crying or shouting all the time. Then I have to remind myself I wanted two close together and it’ll be great one day(?)
You are not alone.

I have a 2.8 year old ds and almost 3 week old ds and I am struggling. I actually feel that ds is suffering because of our choice to have a baby. I had a c section so we are housebound at the moment.

We also have ds1 12 and dd 10 so we have been here before but I had forgotten how hard the adjustment period is.