Help me before I lose it!!

[dizzydaisies]

3.5 yr old boy, lovely, cuddly, funny, happy... except for when he's not 🙄

We've had a few weeks now where we're having so many tantrums - triggered by the tiniest things, and then it's off the scale meltdowns. There's no bringing him down - we've tried everything. Calm voice, cross voice, taking toys away, talking to him, ignoring him, naughty step, reward charts, father Christmas threats, distractions, sweets (don't judge, I'm getting desperate!).

He's getting plenty of sleep, he's perfectly happy when he's at nursery, and when he's with grandparents (so I know he can 'control' it enough to only do it for us).

Honestly, we've really been trying all sorts but it's getting so exhausting now, and constantly walking on eggshells - don't set him off!!

Any pearls of wisdom, any ideas we could try?

And dammit, even my paragraphs have screwed up.

'weep'

Don't walk on egg shells. He knows. He's controlling you.

Sorry posted too soon - it does sound like usual 3 year old behaviour and it's only been a few weeks. Be consistent. Testing all those different tactics to improve behaviour in a few weeks can be confusing.
You have my sympathy! Parenting is tough.

I would cut out the Father Christmas threats - that is below the belt and too far removed in time.

The rule with little children is that any negative inducement should occur immediately or they do not relate it to what they have done wrong.

I think that you and DH need to decide what strategy you wish to use and both stick with it. e.g. "I am afraid that as you are doing xyz after being told not to, then you will have x toy taken away till this afternoon" - or whatever you choose.

It is so hard I know!!!

When you say a tantrum do you mean kicking, shouting on the floor screaming or just running round wild ?

Kicking, screaming, hitting, snot and tears flying everywhere...! Parenting really is magical sometimes 🙈

I think the consistency is a good point. I think we've been trying to find something that will resonate with him, but maybe it doesn't matter so much what it is, as long as it's the same thing each time.

What you can try is reinforce the good behaviour immediately no matter how trivial or small - ie - playing on the rug with cars 'I really like how your rolling them down that ramp this is great playing, really good behaviour', goes into a shop and behaves, as soon as you come out give him a big hug saying 'Im so proud of you that was brilliant behaviour in there'. I know it sounds a bit daft but to a child of 3 it wont. When the bad behaviour starts, pick him up take him to a quiet place ie bedroom and just say something like' we're just going to stay here for a while until you calm down.' Do not enter into any lengthy discussions or attempt to reason with him at that stage its pointless. (my son went through a terrible spitting and kicking stage and this approach worked) You have to be consistent though. Good luck, kids are great aren't they !