7 year d just found out Santa isn't real heartbroken

[bananaramaboo]

So I have just spent the last hour and a half consoling my heartbroken 7 year old after she discovered Santa isn't real.

Her 9 year old sister asked if DH and I were really Santa and I fudged the question, she persisted, I said what do you think, she said yes and I said that there wasn't really 1 Santa but that every mum and dad helped to. Keep the magic alive by helping Santa and making sure his memory was kept alive and children got lovely presents. I told them the story of the real St Nick, at which point 7yr old DD burst into tears and was inconsolable!

I feel so bad. She wasn't ready. She says she's soo sad that he isn't real and that she really loves him. I have tried to reassure her that Christmas will be the same and that nothing has to change. She fell asleep crying with me holding her. How do I make this better? Am I the WORST? How can I get her to not tell the other children at school? Have told her it's up to us to keep the magic alive now for her friends at school and not to tell them!

We've all had that feeling when we found out the awful truth, but got over it and still enjoy keeping the magic alive. She'll be fine in time.

Please remember that Santa is a make believe game.

My 9 year old knows perfectly well that Santa doesn't exists. But he loves playing along with it, so we all go along with it.

Let your DD take the lead, but you can carry on pretending if you all want to. It's a lovely game we all play together. Adults take it too bloody seriously IMO!

I would have a talk with your 9 year old about carrying on the magic, but say to her, her sister wasn't ready, and she needs to help you keep the magic alive for her.

Then say to your 7 year old - that you forgot to say that sometimes some mysterious presents do appear, and you've never really worked out where they come from. Some people say those ones are form Santa (or something, you have a night to come up with something better!)

Basically leave it open for her to keep believing if she wants to.

When I was little, I knew Santa didn't exist when I was 5! I remember clearly. But I also remember being much older and getting caught up in the magic and thinking Santa was real after all.

Kids have a different relationship to fantasy than adults. If you 7 year old said "look mum, I'm an astronaut" you wouldn't fret about whether she really thought she was, would you?

So find a way to leave the door open to believing in Santa, so if she wants to, she can carry on.

We've all had that feeling when we found out the awful truth

No, I never did. I found out pretty young. I forget how but I can't remember ever being upset he didn't exist.

But still believed it because I wanted to. And over the years it became more obvious, slowly, that the knowledge I had that he wasn't real was true, and the game that he was real was just a game. But it wasn't painful, just part of growing up.

She’s only 7, what on earth possessed you to tell her? Christmas won’t be the same without Santa but you can still make it a fun Christmas

I said that there wasn't really 1 Santa but that every mum and dad helped to keep the magic alive

Why would you say this?!

Haha I never believed in Santa! I always knew it was a game and just went along with it.

I have a 6 month old daughter and I'll tell her all about St.Nick but to be honest, I'd rather she knows her gifts are from me and her Dad. Not some old guy who can somehow get into the house in the middle of the night.

In fact.. My little sister was TERRIFIED of Santa and refused to come downstairs on Christmas morning hahaha. So that's when my parents told us all 'the truth' about him.

7 seems really old to be believing in Santa to me!

Well if I'm honest I was caught unaware and had attempted to fudge the answer - "of course he's real, don't be silly, " etc But the question persisted from the 9 year old and she asked outright I didn't feel comfortably lying straight to their faces.

We all play make believe and I've always enjoyed building the magic for the kids but I also think it's incredibly important that they know they can trust me so when they came out and asked me I didn't feel comfortable lying. I assumed wrongly that they had worked it out. Well 9 yr old DD had but her sister hadn't! I misjudged the situation and now I feel shit. Obviously I didn't want this to happen!

I never really believed in Santa, I realised it game, just like when we went looking for fairies in the forest or had to build forts to keep out the trolls. I absolutely loved Christmas as a child (I still do!) and it never stopped being magical. None of mine have asked (I assume because deep diwn they know he’s not real!) but if they did then I would tell the truth.

Im 23 and sometimes wonder what if santa is real?!!! Imagine, some bloke running a big workshop with magical decorations and reindeer upkeep? I imagine it a bit like the scene from the santa clause film with tim allen! Imagine the electricity bill?!
Id go with santa is real and he 'runs' christmas but needs parents help fir presents. Id say he has his naughty/nice list and lets mums and dads know if they can buy presents as child has been good etc.
I never fully believed in it, there was always an element of doubt, so it was never confirmed that he wasnt real so i have no advice on that front, how it felt etc. Youre doing well with the keeping xmas spirit alive thing.
I do know someone whos daughter found out so they made it out that she was 'in om the secret' with the adults and helped keep it up for her younger cousins.
(Just to confirm, at 23 im fairly confident hes not real but xmas is about spirit! I still tag DH's gifts as one from me and one from 'santa'.. hes 31 and does the same!)

Bless her, I was pretty gutted when I found out about Santa. My dc didn't seem to care in the slightest (little cynics) and we still put out the mince pie and carrot on Christmas Eve.