Anxiety and changing baby - feel out of control

[keb2702]

My DS is 16 weeks old. He has been a little star - only up once at night, super smiley a lot of the time and seems basically content. But the last few days, he seems less happy. Think he's teething which obviously can't help, but I can't bear that he's changing and possibly in pain. He's also much more vocal - crying more, shouting even, and just seems like a different baby.

I have anxiety permanently to the point of panic attack: that he's not happy, that he won't sleep, that he has separation anxiety, etc etc. I'm even worrying about things that won't happen for months - sleep regressions, going to nursery, me going back to work, etc.

I just feel awful and can't stop crying. I love my little boy more than I could ever have imagined, but I wake up with a feeling of dread every morning.

Can anyone help? Any words of advice gratefully received.

Have you considered you may have post natal depression or post natal anxiety?

Babies cry as its one of their main ways to communicate. So long as the cries are responded to then crying itself isn't "bad" or a "problem" to be solved, its just your baby expressing himself.

If you haven't already, have a look at Wonder Weeks which sets out the 10 developmental leaps a baby goes through in their first year.

I'd also strongly recommend joining a local mum and baby group or class so that you can meet mums wuth similar age babies and share any concerns in real life. You sound very anxious, and self care is very very important when you have a new baby

There's a huge developmental leap around 16 weeks, if you search for '4 month sleep regression' on mumsnet you will find many many many anxious mums have posted about this before you and many many many more will after you.

Doesn't make it any less hard to deal with when you are going through it though, but it is just a phase and will most likely pass in a few weeks.

I'm a worrier with my DS. I worry about most things, most of the time. But the worry is manageable and I'm still happy more than I'm scared.

I was worse at 16 weeks after birth as my hormones made me extra sensitive for about 8 months. But if this is making you really happy speak to your GP. Post natal anxiety is really common. They'll be able to help.

Op I had severe anxiety after ds was born which I ignored and it continued to get worse please speak to your gp, I wish I had got help at the start and not let it continue for so long.

Yes, it's really not about the baby and his development - if you have anxiety it'll just find something to latch on to.

Your baby sounds 100% normal and lovely, but my reassurances won't help your underlying problem. Are you able to get to the GP and tell them how you're feeling? Do you have support like a partner or your Mum?

You poor thing, it's a truly awful feeling at a time when you should be able to just enjoy your sweet baby.

Please see your gp about PND!!!

Yea I agree It is their way of communication. Read about Stages of Development of Psychology of People at Different Ages from Infancy to Old Age by Erik Erickson. I trust you, you can deal with it.