18 month age gap, does it get easier?!

[Chunkymonkey123]

We had our second DS 5 weeks ago and our DS1 is 19 months old. We purposefully had a small age gap as we wanted them to be close in age but now it’s seeming like a big mistake!
Our toddler has suddenly decided to be very hard work and is throwing tantrums about everything. The baby is up most of the night so we are both very tired and probably have less patience.
I had a c-section so have had loads of help so far but it still takes hours to get out of the house, the house is a tip and I feel like I am neglecting DS1 while wishing for DS2 to hurry up and get passed the newborn stage which is really awful as he will only be this small once!
Have we made a big mistake or will it pay off in the end? I’m starting to understand why people have bigger age gaps.

I have an 18 month age gap. DD is now 2.1 and DS is 6 months, and it’s so much easier now. Although DS is a shocking sleeper, they can play together a little now, and DD is getting to be so good with him.

Please don’t worry, it’s worth it

I have a 17mth age, children are now almost 5 and 3 & a half.

Yes, definitely gets easier! I think when the youngest was about 6mths...weaning, sleeping better, more routine etc...was a bit turning point. Looking back, it's frightening to see how utterly shattered we all were. It's amazing that we're all still alive actually.

Getting out for fresh air every day helped. For me, that literally meant walking out the door with both kids screaming in the pram leaving behind a bomb site. After a walk and a coffee everyone felt much better.

Children get on so well now (although there's a fair amount of fighting too), and are interested in the same stuff. We felt pretty smug when we were on holiday over half term...kids played quite happily together, while we drank wine on the adjoining terrace 😁 The full on years have paid off!

Mine are nearly 4 and 5 now. I’d say it got easier gradually then noticeably easier when the youngest was 2.5. Obviously that sounds a long time away, but I think the newborn stage is always tricky with another child. I’ve got a 4 month old and found it tricky again as they would need something from me as I was feeding.

15 month age gap between my eldest. Yes it does get easier i promise
My mantra was "this too shall pass"

Posted too soon.
So what I’m saying is you’re ‘in the tunnel’ and it’ll ease off.

My older two are very easy now they can walk, sleep through, go to the toilet etc.

Wanted to say you're not alone..I'm 4 weeks behind you. I have two boys- 18 months and 1 week. I also had s c-section and dreading DH going back to work at the end of this week. Following posts with interest. I hope it gets better for you x

Same age gap here... now 5 and 3.5. I can’t remember exactly when it started to get easier, but I do remember that the first 6 months for me were hell on Earth. Really bloody hard. It’s much easier now , and I’m pregnant with number 3 so it obviously didn’t put me off completely would never do that age gap again though.
Hang on in there. Take any help offered.

16 month gap here, eldest nearly 2 and youngest just turned 6 months. Definitely easier as eldest is really understanding most of what I'm saying now so I can say things like 'right I'm going to put you in your room for 5 minutes whilst I put ds2 to bed' etc and he gets it and is more cooperative.

I honestly don't remember the early weeks and no idea how I got through them. But there is a real sense now that things are turning a corner.

Hang in there!

We have a 19 month age gap and the first 6 months with two were very hard. They're 3 and almost 5 now and it's a doddle! They adore each other, play together, help each other and it's lovely to see. Invest in a sling (I know it's a mn cliché!), take any help that's offered, don't stress about the house, get out every day, good enough is good enough. There were days when I felt completely invincible and that everything was under control and days when it was all just overwhelming, far more good days than bad though.

You’re only 5 weeks in, hang in there!

We have 21 months between 1 and 2 and there will soon be 23 months between 2 and 3.

I still remember the first time I had to do bedtime on my own shortly after DC2 was born and I lay on the floor crying wondering what I’d got myself in for as neither would stop crying.

It will get easier. There will be moments of absolute horror but I wouldn’t change having a small gap for the world. They’re 3.5 and 2 now and adore each other (and occasionally try to kill each other).

Get your things ready the night before and try and get out the house as soon as you can in the morning. I pretty much carried DC2 about the whole time in the sling- it made life so much easier. When baby naps spend some one on one time with the older one and stuff the house work!

It will get easier, give yourself some time!

It gets better! 12m gap between dc1 & Dc2, and 21m between dc2&3. The first weeks are tough, you are all adjusting. Take it slow, I second getting out the house for a walk or group as soon as you can, you'll feel better and the day will go better. Mine are very close, play together and help each other and despite how difficult it was at times I am glad they are so close. I hope it gets better for you OP.

It depends on the children. Some are more difficult then others. Mine are now 5 and 6. Most of the time they are so lovely and okay with each other. But it sure was difficult the first couple years. Of course certain milestones make it easier, like when the newborn finally sleeps though the night. Or I should say infant, like in my case when he was 13 months old!!! 😳

(Looks at 13yo and 14yo). Don't know if it gets easier but you get used to it! Stages of childhood pass in quick succession. If they are both in a silly phase you've had it. The early years are hard work, cut yourself some slack for hardly getting anything done!

13 months?! Mine was 3.5 years!

16 month age gap here. It got much easier at around 16 weeks. Before that it was fucking hard, hang in there it does get better.

At 22 weeks DC2 is laughing at DC1 larking around, DC1 is taking every chance she gets whilst my back is turned to try and wean DC2 and generally we can go and and about without it feeling like some epic mission.

It does get easier. I have 2 DS, they are 3 and 21 months. 18.5 months apart .

I found the start of weaning at 6 months a bit of a set back, but really, time has flown and now they do play quite well. Ds1 potty trained at Easter, ds2 won't be too long before he's ready.

Keep a ell stocked changing bag, including changes of clothes, bibs and snacks, in the car. Also have a small bag for 2 nappies and a pack of wipes.

I prep clothes twice a week, o I get out and fold into outfits, and place on a shelf, also all I need to do is pick a pile each.

Routine is key for me. We don't go downstairs until I am washed, dressed and bit of make up. The times I venture down before that, I end up not being dressed til lunchtime.

Online shopping.

It certainly does! Give it a year and you’ll be sitting smug as anything because your children practically look after each other :)

I also found life much easier once stbxh left a year ago, when they were 9 months and 2.

15 months here, my motto was short term pain, long term gain and it was so true! Now at 5 and 6 we find days out easy as they're interested in the same things and on holiday in particular they bring the best out in each other.

Power on through, take the help you can and remember the days are long but the years are short! I even had an 8 month period where they both had a nap at the same time, that was an amazing hour and a half each day!

Kids are never easy.
12 and 10.5 years here and every stage has challenges.

Mine would play together for hours..it will get much easier.

Thank you so much for all the supportive comments! I will try and get out of the house more often. DS1 is actually much better behaved when out and DS2 will hopefully nap it just seems like such an effort to actually get ready and leave atm!
I know this time will pass but I feel like I’m waiting for it all to hit the fan and me not be able to cope. The other day both children were crying hysterically and I didn’t know who to sort out first!

Not quite so small but there was a almost exactly 2yr gap with mine. The first three months were very hard going, but after that it got good. Lovely having such a small gap now they’re 4 and 2, they’re great playmates and get on so well.

Gets easier when the youngest starts sleeping through. Then they start talking and it's gets easier from there.

Baby steps

My first two are 16 months apart. I can confidently say it gets easier - eventually! My boys are in their 20s now & still best buddies. And it can't have been that bad because I went on to have DC3. It's tough at the beginning but you get through it, and when you start to see them bonding, chatting & playing you know it was worth it.