Recommend me some parenting resources. He’s only 10 months old and I think I’m going to need them!

[reetgood]

I have a lovely, determined and active 10 month old. He’s just started walking and I can see him starting to understand things. Previously I’ve mostly relied on distraction :) I think I need some more strategies. I think part of my problem is I keep cracking up at some of the behaviour I want to discourage. Example - him reaching for tv box. It’s not accessible but I thought I’d try out a limit. He pulls his hand back then reaches again with such a funny little saucy look in my direction. I find it hard to keep a straight face. I’m not a very black and white person and I suspect I need to become more definite about things.

I’ve heard ‘how to talk so kids will listen’ is good. Is the little kids version applicable to such a little kid?

My aim is to have a thoughtful, kind child with enough manners to not be completely feral ... he may have other ideas.

I quite enjoyed this book when my kids were younger. www.amazon.co.uk/New-Toddler-Taming-Bestselling-Parenting/dp/0091902584/ref=la_B001IQUMDU_1_1?s=books&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1542592345&sr=1-1

He is just reassuring with humour

Following. Think we might have the same child!

@kingirving that looks good thank you!

I looked at ‘how to talk’ for little kids and that’s from 2 years. So maybe I’ll get both and read ahead...:D

@wallsbangers ours has started the frustration drop to the floor and wail, when he can’t make something do what he wants it to do. Or when we takeaway what he really really wants. Like the cat... he also throws things when annoyed also because it’s fun . First time the back arch rage happened I told him he wasn’t meant to be doing that yet but apparently he didn’t get the memo...

Oh no, too soon for tantrums. Get the occasional cry when I take something off him (like a plug), his levels of determination are unbelievable!

Read up on young children's schemas - they explain quite a lot of behaviours which can get children told off!

@auntmarch thanks for the tip - any particular resource you like? There is a load out there! I found this and it made me laugh because I think my son has been all about the trajectory schema since birth :D hence the walking early. This blog has some good ideas for activities too www.yummikeys.com/blogs/yummikeys-blog/play-schemas-does-my-child-have-a-trajectory-schema

Ah @reetgood do you have my son?! I'm also dealing with full on toddler-style tantrums from my early walking nearly 10 month old. Thank you for posting this, I'm going to read everything recommended!!

I work with children. I've read so many different things about schema but possibly not the most parent friendly resources, all rather matter of fact text book type things! I'll have a think and a look about though

@auntmarch yes I found quite a few resources that were geared towards people working in early years, so thought I’d cheekily ask if you had any particular items :) I do appreciate the reference to the concept though. He’s so totally into movement type schema, it explains a lot and I’m appreciating the play suggestions I’ve found so far.

@bababanana they are amusing but oh my days they’re full on! At the moment he can be distracted from the tantrum, althoughthe other day he seemed to want to just lean on me and have a proper cry about something. He was wound up and I couldn’t figure out why. So I dredged up some attachment type parenting I’d read re just holding and listening. Obviously it’s a bit different with a baby but it seemed to work. I just patted him and told him it was ok, and after he’d wailed for a bit he cheered up. I’m not sure my approach is completely attachment based but when I read about it, it made sense to me www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/06/crying-out-for-connection/

Toddler Calm is a great book.

They cry because they are finding something difficult. That might be something that we can't really understand the importance of, such as the wrong colour cup or sandwiches cut into triangles instead of the usual squares or whatever, but it matters to them!
The biggest thing regarding the tantrums for me is that children are allowed to feel cross or upset or just plain grumpy, just as much as we are. It's our job to help them through it until they are grown up and can manage their feelings and emotions more effectively themselves. Nothing winds me up more than hearing someone dismiss a child's feelings "you don't need to cry you are fine"
It sounds like you are doing a great job already!
I took all my stuff into work after I finished the degree but I'll try and remember to check which was my favourite!

I've have some excellent feedback on my parenting book and one lady uses the material for her parenting classes. My 4 'rules' are very easy to follow and the book very quick to read. I've raised my children sticking to these rules and so far so good :).
www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?tag=mumsnetforum-21&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=holding+hands+bernadette+mather