Baby prefers childminder

[Chicci1]

I'm in tears typing this. Back at work for two months now. My one year old is with -a childminder from 8 am to 5pm five days a week. He has settled in well. My big issue is collecting him. His face sinks when he sees me. He clings to the childminder and I literally have to peel him off her. He kicks me and cries the whole way home. If she takes him back off me for a hug, he's so happy until it's time to go back to me. It doesn't help that she makes a big deal of it and constantly jokes about how he doesn't want to come home with me. I dread collecting him every day and am so down about it. I'm trying to spend more one on one time with him but also have a three year old who is high maintenance in the evenings and am on my own with them for bedtime. I just feel like I'm doing a terrible job with everyone and obviously don't have a good attachment bond with him.
Has anyone been through anything similar and any advice?

No advice but don't take it personally it's not that your a bad mother ! X
Realistically he is used to being with her the same way he would be if you was at home 🤷🏻‍♀️ they spend a lot of time together. once he is abit older it will get easier and he will understand more. X

Don't worry mumma your doing what you need to for your family x

Don't take it personally. Slightly older but my 3YO turns into the offspring of Satan at the childminders when I come to pick him up. By the time we're in the car he's all happy and smiley and asking me for sweets!

Wow I would expect a childcare professional to be a bit more sensitive!
My sister, who didn't work, looked after my first baby while I worked and my baby also had a strong preference for my sister. It was really, really hurtful but it did fade and now at 3 she's quite loyal to me. I have no real advice but it will pass.

Don't take it personally. ds used to run excitedly into the CMers, and I'd have to carry him out in a rage.
Partly it was that time of day - tiredness.
However your CMer is being really unprofessional.
If your little one is struggling a bit with the transition, then ask her to have him all ready, go in, pick him up and carry him out Have a notebook for exchange of information. Don't teach him to play you off one against the other. Your CM should be suggesting this, not elongating the situation

It's probably more struggling with the transition at the end of the day, when he's tired etc rather than a preference for her.

Have you tried having a special toy to give him to distract? It’s not about you so much as leaving something fun, the transition. My DD doesn’t scream at pick up but my older dd used to run away from me at nursery because she was in the middle of something.

Agree about your child minder being unprofessional.

At the end of the day you're his mum, nobody can take that away from you. It sounds like he's tired after a long day hence his behaviour.

It's hard but always remember: you are his world.