First time user, but I’ve heard a lot of good things. Please bear with me as the situation is a little complicated, so I’ll try to summarise the background.
I have been with my now wife for 5 years. She has 2 children, son now aged 24 but still living at home. Daughter aged 20 but living away at university. The kids father died at an early age. My wife was actually 6 months pregnant with her daughter.
Earlier in the year the kids were out together with mutual friends, got drunk and had a big fall out. A few weeks later her daughter came out with a bombshell, that when she was in her early teens and her son around 15, he had sexually abused her. Nothing physical, but while staying at their grandparents and sharing a room he would show her pornographic material.
Daughter is now under going counselling and appears to be taking some positive steps, however it appears she now wants to get it out in the open.
She doesn’t feel comfortable coming home anymore as son will be here. They have spoken briefly but only in passing. She is now pressuring my wife to confront son and make him move out.
Wife is in bits. She is trying to comfort and support daughter, and help her deal with it. She is disgusted with son, but doesn’t want to confront him with it as he is quite an unstable and fiery character.
Wife was abused by her cousin when she was younger, and tried to tell her family, but was ignored and eventually led to breakdown of relationship with her parents for many years.
She fears that if this gets out there will be chaos in not only her immediate family but on the children’s fathers side aswell who are still quite involved with her son.
I don’t think daughter is ready yet to confront son, but she is getting there. She is the much more level headed and mature of the two of them. However she really doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore and I fully understand that, as does my wife.
Any advice on how we should help daughter or how we should deal with son.