Strong urge to punch myself in the head?

[bewitcheded]

I was quite a cross child when I was younger, throwing a tantrum when things didn't go my way and throwing stuff about

Then as a teen and into adulthood and as a parent I've always been pretty chilled. Had lots of people say how patient I am with DC's which is nice

But recently I just cannot cope. The last couple of months I have just lost the plot. I never feel like harming the kids just to make that clear but if say, my day has been really hard and the kids have been really testing, I really feel like smacking my head against a wall as hard as I can. the urge is so hard to resist. Sometimes I take myself upstairs and punch myself in the head. It sounds fucking insane writing it out. What is wrong with Me?

Try googling intrusive thoughts and see if it sounds like that. I think you need to speak to someone professional though, sounds like you are under a lot of stress

Hi op
I actually went through a period if the same feelings. Every time my dd cried I used to physically pull lumps of my hair out. I also did actually bang my head off a door really hard and actually gave myself concussion. I never felt like hurting dd either but I feared that I possibly could. I was under a huge amount of stress at the time and dd wasn't sleeping. I went to see a therapist and she really helped. I was also reminded on a daily basis that my dd needed her mum and it eventually sank in.
I would suggest going to see a therapist. They will really help. Also don't be afraid to ask friends and family for help if you need it.

Whether or not the same thing is 'wrong' with us, I was using banging /punching myself in the head as a way of relieving seemingly inescapable stress to the point of giving myself concussion. Whether dh mentioned it with me in mind or not, he said he'd read about brain damage resulting from old injuries and I have pretty much stopped. Wishing you relief

It doesn't sound insane but it does sound as though you need an outlet!

Therapy, sport... There has to be some healthier way of releasing your aggression.

FWIW when DD1 was 4mo she was hell on wheels; one night I'd absolutely had enough so I put her down (gently) in her cot, walked down the corridor to the spare room and proceeded to (silently) beat the crap out of a pillow. Like you, I'd never harm my kids but I don't think it's unusual for a parent to feel themselves on the edge at some point. It's more the hurting yourself aspect that would concern me.